


Drape me in your warmth

by Miiika



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Character Deaths, Dancer! Yuuri, M/M, Mistress! Yuuri, Prince! Victor, Victor has money, Victor ist desperate, Yurio appears later in the story, Yuuri is too seductive, and no chill, confident! Yuuri, he is Victor's cousin, his servants are trash, nothing big though, oh Victor is also the future king, we might see a glimpse of Victor's cruel side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-13 05:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9107650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miiika/pseuds/Miiika
Summary: Prince AU!So Victor being Victor, he kidnapped Chris, bought less aristocratic clothes to wear and went to the brothel. It wasn’t his first time in a brothel, god no, but he heard that the dance, which was performed there, was something to die for.





	1. Quantum Immortality

Victor was the crown prince of a vast land in the north, one of the most powerful kingdoms in the world. Once he was little he was taught how to behave around nobles, how to speak, walk, eat, what was right for him to do, what wasn’t and he was prepared to take over the duties as a future king. Since he was a child all expectations were thrown upon him and Yakov, his personal teacher and future advisor, tried to watch over him. He liked to take care of cute little Vitya (well, until he noticed that cute little Vitya wasn’t as cute as everyone thought he was).

 

With his light hair, sky blue like eyes and bright smile, Victor was the angelic child, the kingdom always wished for but as he grew a tad older, Yakov learned that the angelic child was cheeky as fuck, or how Yakov called him: _a little devil in disguise._

 

When Victor grew a bit older, he started to skip his lessons, played pranks with his future personal guard, Chris, on other servants, vanished from time to time only to be found hours later and did everything that stole ten years of Yakov’s life.

 

When Victor was eight years old his parents died due to an illness which spread through the kingdom and which killed many many people at that time. The poeple mourned over their death and even tiny Victor lost his real smile after that, showing an articfical smile only his friends knew about. After the death, Yakov the only brother of the deceased king, took over and took care of the kingdoms matter until Victor was old enough to do that. He worked diligently on the kingdoms affairs and when the time would come for Victor to take over, as he was the heir apparent to the throne, Yakov would stay by his side, helping him as his advisor like it was planned since the beginning. He knew that Victor would do his brother justice. He would be a king with a smile on his face and a heart made out of steal. Maybe he would be the best king their land would have ever had.

 

On the day Victor turned 18, the castle hosted a big birthday party with too much food and golden furniture everywhere. Every noble with a title was invited and most of them brought their daughters with them, in hope that one of them would catch the prince’s eye.

 

Like his upbringing taught him, Victor smiled to all the ladies in the ball room, flirted with every female that was old enough, was polite to every guest, thanked everyone for their presents and hoped to return to his room soon.

 

As much every male would have loved the attention, Victor grew tired of it easily. Tired of the swooning daughters, from the sons that tried to catch his interest, the parents who tried to impress him and every guest in the room who drooled after him and drowned him in flattery. He wanted to escapee from the daughters who were born into too wealthy noble families and who clung to him, convinced that it was their selves who belonged by the prince’s side. Those type of people were the most annoying.

 

There were arrogant, superficial, insulted every other girl who wasn’t them, saying the others weren’t pretty or rich enough and even backstabbing their own friends, and their laugh was too high pitched and fake to be pleasant to listen to. They literally clung to his arm the whole evening, pestering the prince to dance with them and didn’t accept a no.

 

So when the day came and Yakov took him with him to travel for diplomatically reasons to the kingdom in the east, he was relieved to get a break from the nobels at home. During their journey, they decided to take a long rest in a small town called Hasetsu, where they decided to stay for a couple of days.

 

From the owner of the Inn they currently stayed in, Victor got the tip that he should go and try the _Stammi Vicino_ brothel if he wanted to have fun or see something special. The owner said that it was the pride and joy of the small town even though it was first and foremost a brothel.

 

So Victor being Victor, he kidnaped Chris, bought less aristocratic clothes to wear and went to the brothel. It wasn’t his first time in a brothel, _god no_ , but he heard that the dance, which was performed there, was something to die for. Apparently other called it something other-worldly. A must see. Of course, it would peak his interest. How could it not? Chris was definitely excited too and it wouldn’t be the first time, he would go outside without permission from Yakov. It would be the first time in a different kingdom but what harm could it do, right?

 

When they arrived in Stammi Vicino the thirst thing that Victor noticed was that the inside was very eastern like. There were tatamis, slide doors, low tables, the men in there were sitting on pillows on the floor and he even heard costumers talk about onsen in the back of the building.

 

Victor being the future king of one of the most powerful kingdoms was fluent in many languages and therefore had no problems at all to communicate with the people there. He requested for Chris and him to see the dance and they were lucky enough to get some seats. Well, lucky to have money and in a matter of seconds they were promptly seated in a room with a big stage.

 

He ordered some eastern food and sake for both of them and enjoyed the dimly lit room and the red silk which was hanging off the ceiling and walls, giving every patron a comfortable feeling and a sense of privacy.

 

Soon the music started and a lady softly announced the performance which would be led by the main dancer Eros. People started to cheer after the name was mentioned and Victor assumed that Eros was someone to look forward to.

 

Soon both female and male concubines slowly gathered themselves on the stage with stomping feet and their moving up arms to jangle their anklets and bracelets. They were performing to their best until the music reached its climax and a man came out, dancing sultry and gracefully to the beat with swaying hips. The other concubines slowly danced to the side of the stage, making room for the man who caught all of the patron’s attention in a blink of an eye.

 

The dancer’s midnight coloured hair was slicked back, and his body was adorned with a deep blue partly seen through vest and low-riding pantaloons, displaying proudly his hipbone and contributing to the Arabic vibe of the performance. The dancer’s brown eyes were glowing with a beautiful spark and his confident smile was full of unsaid promises.

 

And that was the time Victor saw him. The most beautiful man alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is actually from a song you can listen to: [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLuWMOF6vOU)
> 
> The chapter title is also from a song :3 If you want to listen to it, you can find it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N58c9s5LwA)


	2. I Am Overcome

When Victor watched Eros dance, he couldn’t look away. He fell instantly for the man who moved his hips so sinfully it should have been illegal and with eyes so brown like chocolate, smooth, creamy, delectable, and melting. They held a shine to them like they knew a secret nobody else did.

 

To say that Victor was smitten was an understatement. He felt hard for the man on the stage. He could hear the sharp intake of breath beside him and knew that Chris must have _felt_ it too. The charm which the dancer possessed pulled one in and didn’t let go again, no matter how much you struggled. But Victor didn’t want to escape the spell which was cast upon him. In the contrary. He never wanted to let it go again.

 

He watched transfixed every spin, every proactive circular movement of his hips and when their eyes met, Victor could feel his heart beating faster in his chest, wanting to jump out and fly directly into the hands of the man. He was painfully aware of his boner now but he didn’t do anything to hide it. Not when it meant to look away from the enchanting creature.

 

The dancer didn’t move his eyes from Victor and with practical ease he moved his arms and legs to the beat of the music. In that moment he wasn’t Victor the crown prince but just simply Victor. A man who fell for Eros like everyone else in the room. Eros stripped him bare of his power, letting only the desperate man craving for attention left behind. When the show came to an end and Eros bowed to the audience with flushed skin, Victor knew that he wanted him like he never wanted something else before.

 

“I need to have him,” Victor whispered to himself, hiding his boner with more clothes now.

 

Before the clapping in the room subsided, he stood up and went to the first employee he found.

 

“How much? How much do I need to pay for Eros?”

 

The female looked terribly confused and intimidated and it was then that Victor noticed that he spoke in his mother tongue. Before he got the chance to repeat his question in the right language, a hand on his shoulder turned him around, letting the employee resume to her task and run away from the hyper patron.

 

“Victor! Calm down! What’s got into you?” Chris questioned, gripping the shoulders of his prince a little bit too tight.

 

“I- I need him.”

 

Chris looked aghast before he grabbed the prince’s wrist and led the unwilling Prince outside, “Calm down. What you feel right now is lust. I get that, okay? It would be hard not to after this performance but you need to get out of it!”

 

Chris dragged him all the way back to the Inn, tucked him in the prince’s bed like the good friend he was and waited until he feel asleep.

 

Victor would have run back to the brothel wouldn’t it be for Chris. He knew that his decision was probably hasty and maybe Chris was right. Maybe it was lust that Victor felt but it felt like this wasn’t the only reason. He felt like this chest crushing feeling wasn’t just born out of the _want of sex_. Victor could feel a connection with the man and himself which he couldn’t explain and it was something Victor would without doubt scrutinise. He wouldn’t let the man escape from him.

 

That night Victor dreamed of brown eyes so warm and deep that he blissfully drowned in them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GMgZ-6SI0s)


	3. Innocent

The following day Victor’s interest in the dancer didn’t cease. In the contrary. Every time he thought about the lovely boy he got fidgety to the extent that Yakov would turn irritated.

 

So the moment Yakov dared to look away from him, he darted out the Inn with only one goal in mind.

 

He visited Stammi Vicino with the most expensive fabrics he could find on the market that day, ordering Chris to carry it all the way to the brothel.

 

When he arrived, he walked straightway to an employee, demanding to see Eros as soon as possible and interrupting the conversation he had with a bald patron. The two men in front of him looked down upon him, a mocking and angry smirk on their faces but as soon as Victor threw a thick wad of money to the employee, the smirks vanished and turned into baffled expressions.

 

“How rude of me, sir! Welcome to Stammi Vicino! The place where eternity is born. We would gladly accommodate your request but sadly Eros is booked until the next month. Could we help you with another one of our women or men? We have a book where all o-“   

                                                    

Before he could end his sentence, Victor threw another bundle money at the man, “I want _Eros_.”

 

“Get in line, you prick!” Baldy yelled, gripping Victor at the collar of his kimono.

 

Before Chris could step in, the employee yanked the man back, a greedy smile plastering his face, “It seems that Eros might be free for today. We will get him ready immediately.”

 

Victor smiled coldly, “No need but I want you to cancel all his future appointments. Are we clear?”

 

“But, si-“

  
Victor sighed, the man was a hassle but at least he could see _Eros_ soon, “I will pay the double of the price.”

 

The employee’s eyes went bigger before he nodded eagerly. As if he forgot about the bald patron, he led Victor and Chris along a long corridor, loud moans coming from behind the closed doors and filling the silence, until they stood in front of a red sliding door.

 

“That would be enough, thank you,” Victor said with a voice that didn’t let any room for objections. The man bowed deeply before going back where he came from.

 

As Victor slid the door open, he saw a raven haired man sitting cross-legged on a scarlet futon, supporting his head against the wall with an impassive expression as he looked out of the window.

 

Victor’s gaze roamed over the pale skin which stretched over toned muscle beneath a silk kimono. His collarbones were peeking from behind the thin material, begging to be marked.

 

“My prince, is something the matter?” Chris inquired after Victor suddenly came to a halt, trying to look over the mountain of fabrics in his arms.

 

At the unfamiliar voice, Eros turned his gaze up and Victor found himself staring into warm chestnut coloured eyes, framed by long eyelashes and hidden behind a pair of blue glasses. The boy in front of him looked confused before he blushed deeply.

 

“S- Sorry! I d-didn’t know that I had a-appointment! I will get ready!” He stood up, stumbling on his words as he apologized again and again.

 

Before the boy could vanish past Victor, he grabbed his arm and turned him around.

 

Victor was surprised. He looked so… so.. _cute_ , adorable even. His hair was tousled and his bangs were sticking in every direction, indicating that he just woke up.

 

He looked nothing like the Eros from yesterday. The man yesterday was confident, sexy and radiated waves of sex appeal with every spin and sway of his hips. However, this man seemed pure. Almost _untouched,_ even though Victor knew that it couldn’t be. Not with the way he earned his money. 

 

There are many people who are disappointed if the person they fell for turned out to be completely different from their imagination. Victor was different. He wasn’t disappointed but _excited_. Like a child that got to try the sweet taste of candyfloss for the first time. And like the candyfloss, Victor wanted to rip the man in front of him apart, tasting and learning every part about him.

 

What he liked, what he didn’t, what made him smile, what his face looked like when he cried, when he screamed out in pleasure, what his true name on his tongue would taste like and how he could turn the lovely shade of red on his checks even darker.

 

“I-I’m Victor. Would you allow me the pleasure of your company?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you enjoyed today's chapter and have a lot of fun today!  
> See you next year~
> 
>  
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YzqislSKTc)


	4. I Found

Yuuri sat on the windowsill in his room, looking outside the window. The snow outside continued to fall and covered the world outside bit by bit. At times like these it would get chilly, even in his own room and Yuuri pulled the thick blanket, made out of the finest wool from this city, closer to his body. A content sigh left his mouth as he got warmer immediately and it turned into a small white cloud as it left his mouth. He was glad for the blanket.

 

The brothel never used a heater to warm the rooms. They never bothered, saying the money was short. Everyone knew that it was a lie but just like Yuuri, they knew that it was wise to shut their mouths about it. They didn’t like to hear complaints. Yuuri got to experience that firsthand and after the first week without something to eat, he promised to never request something again from the authorities.

 

Normally Yuuri wouldn’t be able to afford such an expensive item but every time Victor came to visit, he brought presents for him. Usually it was something a lower class person like him couldn’t even _think_ about buying.

 

Victor, Yuuri thought, was a really strange person. With his heart shaped smile and icy blue eyes he came and captured his heart just like that. He was the first patron that just paid to have a conversation with him. Normally Yuuri wouldn’t speak much with his patrons. His mouth would be usually around their cocks by the time he could even think about striking a conversation with them.

 

Victor was different. Victor just came to talk and to bring him gifts without any ulterior motives, even after Yuuri told him that it was not necessary and asked him to stop, way too embarrassed to accept them but ending up to keep them in the end.

 

Yuuri leaned his head against the window glass and looked to the sky. He remembered their conversation as if it was yesterday and not already a two weeks ago.

 

 

 

_Yuuri blinked, trying to comprehend what he just heard, “Excuse me? You want **me** to be part of your harem?”_

 

_“No. I want you to **be** my harem.”_

 

_“A mistress?”_

 

_“My mistress,” Victor clarified with a smile so bright it put the sun to shame._

 

_"Why?"_

 "Well, I can't marry anyone yet so why not be my mistress?"

 

 

 

It still came to him as a shock that Victor was a prince. After thinking about it numerous nights it made sense. Victor looked like he had royal blood flowing through his veins with his blue eyes, his hair with the colour of the sky before a calm storm and hands which were unsoiled of hard work. It made also clear how he could buy all these things for Yuuri without falling into poverty.

 

But why him? Victor was a prince. Why choose someone as ordinary as him? He wasn’t good-looking in any way and didn’t suit a prince. Not as a mistress. Yuuri groaned and gently beat his forehead against the window glass again and again.

 

On the other hand there was nothing that bound him to this place. His family died when he was little, forcing him to sell his body to survive, he didn’t have friends in such a place like this and staying here would mean to feel trapped forever.

 

And Victor was kind and gentle and every time he smiled it made Yuuri’s chest flutter and he praised him with such an honesty it made him blush and and _and-_

 

“Argh,” Yuuri let out a small scream before burying his head in his palms.

 

_and Yuuri wanted to go._

 

Self-doubt was exhausting.

 

Before he could wallow in self-pity for too long, he could hear a carriage from outside. It was Victor. A very _nicely_ dressed Victor. He dismounted the carriage and came straight inside the building with a few guards in tow. Yuuri gulped, it was real wasn’t it?

 

Before Yuuri could pinch his cheek to make sure that this was not _actually_ just a dream, his door went wide open, letting a smiling Victor through.

 

He went immediately for a hug, “Yuuri!”

 

“Victor? You are already back?”

  
Victor nodded, nuzzling his nose in his hair “I wanted to see you as soon as I could. Did you think about it?”

 

Yuuri did. As he promised he thought about it when Victor was away for diplomatically reasons further in the east. He told Yuuri that it was something about strengthen bonds between two kingdoms and such. _Ahh, just screw it all._

 

“I- I… If you would like to have me.”

 

“Don’t say things like that. Of course I would like to have the loveliest person staying by my side.”

 

Yuuri looked doubtful but tried to cover it. Victor picked up on it anyway.

 

With a scolding tone and a tighter hug, Victor tried to reassure him, “Believe me or not but in the short span of time I learned to love you, Yuuri. The way you blush every time I praise you and the way you look so confident when you enter the stage. You’re the kindest and loveliest person I ever had the honour to meet. I wouldn’t ask you to come with me if I wasn’t serious. I want to grow to love you even more. So, Yuuri Katsuki, would you do me the honour of taking you away from this place and to keep you by my side?”

 

Yuuri cried. He actually did. He hated how emotionally he could get.

 

He felt happy and safe for the first time after his parents died. For the first time he had the feeling that everything would turn out okay.

 

 _Please god, Yuuri thought, let me be selfish this one time_.

 

“Yes. Please take me away,” Yuuri answered with a shaky smile.

 

Victor looked happy. He gave Yuuri his warmest smile and crushed him in a bear hug, spinning him around the room. Both were giggling like five year old children without a care in the world. When Victor let him down on the ground again, he cupped his cheeks and kissed him.

 

Yuuri felt a shudder run through his body. The kiss felt filled with so much love that it made Yuuri cry again. Victor panicked but Yuuri couldn’t say anything to reassure him. He felt like he would start to sob if he would open his mouth. Luckily Victor figured out that Yuuri didn’t cry because he wasn’t willing to kiss him.

 

 

 

 

After Yuuri calmed down again, he started to pack. Honestly, it wasn’t much he had to pack. He only possessed the gifts Victor gave him, a few clothes and a golden ring with a delicate flower made out of rubies. It was his mother’s ring and he would do everything to protect it. It was his only connection to his dead parents. 

 

Next Yuuri changed his clothes. Victor told him that it would be a cold journey and therefore brought him some that would keep him safe from the weather. He took a last glance in the mirror and found himself that the clothes didn’t suit him at all. He looked like royalty but the harsh truth was that he wasn’t.

 

Yuuri started at his image in the mirror before he slicked back his hair and stood up straighter. He would stay by Victor’s side. He would let the whole world see that he belonged to Victor and that Victor belonged to him.

 

Before Yuuri could get his trunk, a guard with blond short hair grabbed it. Yuuri remembered him from the many visits from Victor.

 

“I will carry it, my lord.”

 

Yuuri smiled, “Thank you, Chris.”

 

He winked, “Everything for the prince’s mistress.”

 

Yuuri left the room without glancing back and reunited with Victor at the reception. Victor was already done with the payment and didn’t budge to tell him how much he paid. Victor shrugged it off as a not important sum and left it at that but Yuuri knew that he probably paid a small fortune for him. He was the nummer one in Stammi Vicino after all. Yuuri felt a little bit guilty but he was thankful. He really was.

 

Soon a bigger carriage came around and an old man with grey hair and stern expression exited the vehicle. He clicked his tongue as he saw Yuuri but stepped closer to shake Yuuri’s hand, “Yakov.”

 

Yuuri was confused for a second before he understood that it was the man’s name. He smiled kindly towards the elder, not wanting to get on his bad side, “Katsuki Yuuri,”

 

Without any other words, the man turned around and stepped into the carriage again. Yuuri would lie if he said that the cold treatment didn’t hurt but he had Victor. And Yuuri had a lot of time to get Yakov to like him.

 

Victor took his hand and kissed his temple, “Ready?”

 

Yuuri nodded, “Ready.”

 

Victor helped him to enter the carriage and followed soon thereafter. Yuuri saw the town get blurry as the horses started to run forwards. Victor squeezed his hand and Yuuri didn’t regret anything. He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think of the chapter? :)  
> I actually want to keep this fic short because school starts soon and I want to be done with it by then. I actually planned to write under 10 chapters but now I have four already and I don't see the end yet haha.  
> Btw there is going to be a lot of angst and pain in the next chapters! You still have time to detrain. Oh, and there are going to be more time leaps from now on. I hope you'll enjoy it! 
> 
>  
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbSZhGONRBg)


	5. Crazy in Love

_“Who is that?”_

 

_“Didn’t you hear? It’s the prince’s mistress.”_

 

_“But that’s… that’s a guy!”_

 

_“Apparently our majesty met him when they travelled to the east.”_

 

_“I heard that it took him only one dance to have the prince’s attention.“_

 

_“You’re joking, right?”_

 

_“They found him in… in a b-brothel.”_

 

_“Yikes. So he spread his legs for dozens of people before. What a whore.”_

 

_“I can’t believe that our majesty fell for someone like him. He is so… so filthy.”_

 

_“That whore should go back to the place he came from.”_

 

 

Yuuri held his head high as he walked through the corridors of the castle. His white filmy gown clung loosely around his body, swaying in the wind with every step he took. He was already used to the gossip between the servants. Their dark whispering when they thought that he didn’t hear them. They were talking behind his back since he arrived, saying that he wasn’t good enough for their prince but Yuuri walked with his shoulders back and chin up.

 

He would lie if he said that it didn’t hurt. It did. In the beginning he would always run to his and Victor’s bedchamber, crying his heart out when he was alone but he learned to ignore them.  He learned to build walls around his heart and only letting them down when he and Victor were alone but he still showed a warm smile to everyone at the castle. Yuuri was just tried to be speaking badly of because of his past. He loved Victor so everybody could talk all they want. He wouldn’t leave Victor’s side.

 

“Yuuri!”

 

Yuuri immediately stopped and turned around when he heard someone calling him and looked up. A waving Minami was running towards him. 

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Minami grinned, practically beaming up at him, “The prince asked after you, my lord”

 

“The prince?” Yuuri asked confused, he didn’t remember Victor mentioning anything this morning to him, “Did he say what he wanted?”

 

Minami shook his head, “I beg your pardon. He didn’t but he ordered me to take you to him.”

 

Yuuri hummed in understanding and turned around to follow the smaller boy, “I thought that I told you to call me Yuuri?”

 

“Ahh s-sorry! I will, my lo- Yuuri!” Yuuri couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of a blushing and stumbiling Minami.

 

Minami was way too adorable for his own good. He was one of the few friends Yuuri managed to make. With his warm personality and friendly demeanour, they quickly grew closer. He appreciated that tiny ball of sunshine, even though Minami sometimes looked at him with so much awe in his eyes that it made Yuuri uncomfortable.

 

In Minami, Yuuri also found a great friend to talk about his home. Both of them were originally born in the eastern kingdom and therefore they could talk endlessly about the place they came from and what they missed. Yuuri didn’t miss his hometown, not really, but it was nice to have someone to talk to.

 

To talk about the memoires before his parents died and before Yuuri was forced to sell his body. The lovely sound of the wind chime outside their house, the delicious katsudon his mother used to make for him and the beautiful sakura trees in the spring. He remembered all of it.

 

Minami lead them through the castle until they walked outside and further down into the garden until they needed to walk up a very small mountain.

 

At the very top of the tiny mountain, Yuuri saw Victor waiting for him. He sat on a blanket, surrounded by food and a couple of servants stood behind him, holding jugs in their hands.

 

When Victor noticed him, Yuuri saw him brighten up and waving towards him to come closer.

 

“You wanted to speak w-“

 

Before Yuuri could ask why Victor ordered Minami to bring him to this place, a hand dragged him down and he couldn’t help it but yelp.

 

“Happy Birthday, Yuuri!” Victor congratulated him as cheerfully as he could while hugging the other tightly against his chest, “ _Ahh_ , I missed you so much.”

 

“Wha- Victor! I c-can’t breathe!”

 

Victor chuckled before he let him go, “Sorry, sorry.”

 

Yuuri adjusted his clothes and hair before he let himself fall down beside Victor, “You remembered?”

 

The prince’s shoulders slumped forward in an unbelieving gesture, “You wound me Yuuri. Of course! How could I forget your birthday?”

 

Yuuri shrugged, “You didn’t say anything this morning,” he reasoned,

 

“I wanted to surprise you!”

 

Yuuri slowly melted at the explanation. Okay, maybe he was still a little bit pouty after he thought that Victor forgot his birthday but at the thought that the other organised all of this with the goal in mind to make Yuuri happy, he couldn’t stay angry for too long, “Thank you.”

 

Victor returned his smile and slowly pulled him in his lap, “Eat a lot, okay? I let everything you liked to be prepared. Mushroom julienne, pirogge, watrushki and even loschiks!

 

Yuuri leaned his back against Victor’s chest and started to salivate at the delicious smell of all the dishes. He started to get hungry. He let himself be feed by Victor and enjoyed the warmth as they sat chest to back. It was his birthday. It was okay to be spoiled, if only for this day, Yuuri reasoned.

 

He ignored all the nasty look the servants threw his way and let them clearly see where Yuuri’s place was. His place right beside the future king, “This picnic is a wonderful present. Thank you, Vitya.” And he meant it.

 

A quit murmur between the servants broke out at the use of the pet name the prince’s mistress used.

 

_“How dare he?”_

_“Doesn’t he have respect for our prince?”_

 

_“Who does he think he is?”_

 

_“Someone should teach that whore some manners”_

 

Victor silenced them all with a cold glare, bloodthirst oozing from his fake smile, “Did I allow anyone of you to speak? If I hear someone saying another bad thing about my Yuuri, I won’t show mercy. He belongs to this place now as much as I do and you will show him respect. Did you understand?”

 

Yuuri saw every servant nodding reluctantly, too afraid to disagree and as if nothing happened, Victor returned to his cheery self, kissing the crown of Yuuri’s head, “I’m glad that you liked it but this picnic was only so I could spend some time with you. Your real present will come now.”

  
  
Confused Yuuri looked up and Victor used the opportunity to peck him on his lips before ordering a servant to bring _it_ out.

 

Yuuri watched a servant vanish into the castle before coming out with Minami in tow. The boy looked excited with his hand behind his back.

 

“Show him,” Victor ordered and Minami obliged.

 

He slowly brought the item behind his back out in front of Yuuri and Yuuri found the most adorable puppy staring back at him, sitting happily on a fluffy pillow. It barked almost as if introducing himself and Yuuri tried so hard not to squeal.

 

He reached out for the small happy creature and hugged it carefully against his cheek, “It’s perfect.”

 

Victor softly laughed, amused about the child like wonder Yuuri showed, “It’s a purebred,” he explained, petting the soft curly fur of the dog, “What will you name it?”

 

Yuuri thought long and hard, rolling a couple of names around on his tongue, “I don’t know,” Yuuri admitted honestly. No name was perfect enough.

 

“What about Makkachin?” Victor suggested.

 

“Makkachin?”

 

Victor hummed, “He looks adorable and Makkachin has a cute tone to it, doesn't it? Also, I’m pretty sure that it’s an eastern name. You should give him an eastern name to have something that reminds you of your home.”

 

Yuuri cupped his cheek and smiled gently at him, “My home is where you are, Victor.” He kissed him slowly and with all the love and happiness he felt this moment, ”but Makkachin sounds wonderful.”

 

They spend the evening eating outside the castle and playing around with Makkachin only ending in their bed, caressing each other lovingly as the sun vanished from the horizon.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter is done! I never wrote so much in a week. Well fanfic wise that is. Another seven chapters and we're at the end of our journey :) Until then I hope you'll enjoy it!
> 
>  
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_EvN5n5xwE)


	6. One Man Town

Yuuri stood outside the gate of the castle. He was freezing all over even with his thick coat and fur covering him, “When is your cousin arriving?”

 

“He should be here soon,” Victor answered as he squeezed his hand. It was ridiculous. Here was Yuuri almost freezing to death and Victor stood there as unfazed from the weather as ever. Was it a northern thing? Was it because Victor was accustomed to the coldness? Probably it was. It was still unfair though.

 

Soon the sound of a carriage echoed outside and two horses came to a stop in front of them. Yuuri watched as a young boy stepped out of the vehicle, wearing a short cape with a hood covering his face. Turquoise, white and a clearer shade of grey. Yuuri recognized the colours of the cape as the kingdom’s colour.

 

“Yurio!” Victor exclaimed as he spread his arms out for a hug but the boy just pulled his hood down and glared at them, “Shut up, old man! And put your arms down again. I won’t fucking hug you.”

 

“As cute as ever.” Victor retorted as he stepped closer to drown the smaller boy in a bear hug, ignoring the swearing and death noises his cousin made.

 

Yuuri was surprised. He didn’t expect a noble to be this _fierce_?  At least not Victor’s cousin. Victor was downright a teddy bear.

 

When Victor stepped back, grinning like a five years old child, Yuuri took the opportunity to introduce himself, “Hello. You must be Yurio.” Yuuri smiled, “Nice to meet you. I’m Yuuri, Victor’s mistress.”

 

Yurio glanced up at him with the most beautiful green eyes he ever saw and…. _did he just sneer at him?_

 

“So that’s you? I already heard a lot about Victor’s new fuck whore but who would have thought that he would choose someone so fat?

 

Wait. What? “Sorry?”

 

“Are you deaf now, piggy?”

 

Well, that didn’t go as planned.

 

“Yurio!” Victor shouted and everyone flinched at the harsh tone expect Yurio who just blinked unfazed, “You may be my cousin but I won’t hesitate to sew your mouth shut if needed.”

 

The smaller boy just shrugged, muttering “Whatever,” before leaving, letting his luggage be carried after him from his servants.

 

Victor sighed, rubbing his temples, “I’m sorry, Yuuri. He can be… _demanding._ He didn’t get along with the others in his hometown and after our grandfather died, he… he just shut himself off from everyone. His parents just gave up on him after a while and send him here.”

 

Yuuri just nodded in understanding. The words may have stung but he would eventually get over it, “Don’t worry, Vitya. I’m sure that we will get along somehow.”

 

Victor took his hand again and lovingly rubbed his knuckles, “Thank you, solnyshko.”

 

 

 

 

A week later and Yuuri found that it was easier said than done. Whenever he would collect enough courage to approach Yurio, he would hiss at him, insult him or just turn around and walk away. He was like an angry cat that wanted to be alone.

 

For such a petite and pretty boy, he sure had a lot of anger to give out.

 

At first Yuuri approached him because of Victor. He wanted to get along with him for Victor’s sake. It was his beloved cousin after all. Now, Yuuri wanted to get close to him because he reminded him of himself. Yuuri knew the loneliness too well that came after losing someone dear to you.

 

He may have been scary at first but after he got used to being called piggy all the time, Yurio just turned out to be a normal rebellious teenager with a big attitude.

 

If Yurio really didn’t want him to get close, he would back off but for now his plan to befriend him was still active. He took a liking to the boy. He was cute in his own way.

 

As Yuuri walked into dining room, he saw the younger boy and Yakov already being there, enjoying their meals.

 

He seated himself across from the blond male and in a matter of seconds Minami put a plate with borscht down, smiling shyly as he did. Yuuri thanked the boy with a nod.

 

Yakov glanced up at him before he turned his attention back to his plate, “Where is Victor?”

 

“He still has work to do. He said that he’ll eat later.”

 

Yakov just hummed in understanding and went back to eat. Yuuri knew that he was still unpopular but he got the feeling that Yakov slowly came around. He wasn’t a bad man. Just a man who cared about his nephew.  

 

It was Yurio’s words that made him almost made his soup spit out, “Just say that he’s still in bed because he fucked you the whole night”

 

“Yurio! Language!” Yakov looked shocked at the boy but Yuuri started to laugh. He couldn’t contain himself even after the strange looks Yakov send towards him.

 

“What’s so funny, piggy?”

 

Yuuri slowly calmed down, cheeks softly red, “Well, it’s the first time I get to know someone as honest as you. It’s refreshing”

 

Yurio stared at him, looking as surprised as Yakov did, before he went back to eat, “Whatever. Shut up.”

 

Yakov sighed, “I’m too old for this.”

 

 

 

 

After that he spend a lot of time trying to find Yurio in his secret spots. He found him in the garden behind the big maze, outside near the lake, in one of the many guest rooms which weren’t occupied and now he was standing in the library seeing Yurio groan just as he stepped in, “Don’t you have anything better to do than following me?”

 

Yuuri chuckled, “In fact I do but I wanted to spent some time with you.”

  
“Why? Are you that afraid to be tossed aside by Victor that you even try to get me to like you?”

 

Yuuri sighed, this wouldn't be easy, “I like you, Yurio. Is it that difficult to believe?” he asked as he sat down beside Yurio on the floor.

 

“Ha? Why? Are you a masochist or something? Do you enjoy being insulted? Don’t ki-“

 

Yuuri interrupted him before it could get any worse, “I like you for your honesty, Yurio. I like how you speak your mind without brothering how others may think of you. Most of the people talk behind my back but you don’t. I would like to get to know you better. Is it that hard to believe?”

 

Yurio opened his mouth only to close it again, repeating the action for a few times while looking like a fish gasping for air. He stared at Yuuri, looking at his face and searching for something before letting a sigh out and leaning his head against the wall, “You’re annoying.

 

Not in the least offended, Yuuri says, “I know.”

 

They sat in silence for a while before Yurio opened his mouth again, “I’m bored.”

 

Yuuri thought until he remembered that he still had skates in his closet. He had an idea, a smirk crosses his face “Do you want to learn something new?”

 

Without waiting for an answer, he pulled Yurio and himself up and running out of the library.

 

 

 

Yurio’s hands were warm as Yuuri held on to them. He slowly continued to lead the blond male inch for inch further down the frozen lake. The first thing one needed to learn for ice skating after all, was how to balance oneself on the ice.

 

“Doesn’t it brother you?” Yurio suddenly asked with his eyes still following their baby steps.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

He clicked his tongue, “I talk about how the servants talk about you! Them insulting you! Calling you a slut and worse! Saying that you bewitched Victor!”

 

Yuuri sighed, wanting to slip his hands away from the smaller boy but Yurio’s grip was unyielding. Maybe it was because Yurio was afraid to fall down without a strut, maybe it was for an another reason entirely but with that thought, Yuuri let his hands stay put, picking up the pace of their steps a little bit, "To be honest? It did. In the beginning I would always cry but if I’m being hated then I want to be hated as the man who took Viktor from the world."

 

Yurio stared at him, “You have more guts than I thought,” he whispered as if speaking to himself.

 

Yuuri grinned almost proudly, “I'm the only one who can satisfy Viktor after all. I'm the only one in the world who knows Viktor's love.”

 

Yurio looked straight at him with his mouth slightly agape, clearly not expecting that kind of answer coming from the man in front of him.

 

At the almost awe-struck look Yurio gave him, Yuuri reached out and ruffled his hair.

 

“WHA-? WHAT ARE Y- _STOP IT!”_

 

Yuuri laughed wholeheartedly, almost doubling over at the shocked expression and flailing arms at the attempt of getting Yuuri’s palm off his head and failing bitterly,  “ _Sorry! Sorry!”_ he wheezed, _“_ You were so cute, I couldn’t resist!”

 

His laughter slowly ceased and Yuuri started to run his finger gently through Yurio’s blond locks, smiling towards him with so much gentleness for the younger one shining in his eyes, “You’re a good boy, Yurio. You may have a sharp tongue sometimes and a hot temper but you have an amiable heart. So, don’t let other people tell you something else.”

 

It was the second time he managed to render Yurio speechless, he thought to himself, and that achievement made him kind of happy. He was glad that the boy slowly thawed out to him.

 

“S- Shut your mouth already!” Yuuri needed all his self-control no to start laughing at the furiously blushing boy in front of him. It was _so so_ adorable and _so so_ hard not to let the corner of his mouth slip upwards. He looked like an angry kitten and from experience he knew that if one teased a cat too much, it would run away.

 

“Show me your ice skating already!”

 

Yuuri grinned,“Gladly.”

 

 

 

 

Yurio sat on the snow covered riverbank and watched with something akin to excitement how Yuuri slid on the frozen lake. With every arch of his back, every twist of his hands and every jump, he looked more and more agile and mesmerizing.

 

It was as if watching something divine. Something so beautiful that it seemed pure and untouched from the world. Yurio couldn’t help himself but watch. He couldn’t take his eyes from the figure on the ice, looking so completely free with his closed eyes and outstretched arms as he floated on the ice. It was as if he would embrace everything the world would throw in his way, no matter how bad that _something_ would be. It looked as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

 

He took a sharp intake as Yuuri jumped and spun in the air before descending on the ice again and Yurio understood now. He understood why Victor felt the need to have this man by his side. He possessed so much kindness and no matter how much you tried to predict his actions, you would fail because Yuuri Katsuki was an enigma.

 

At first Yurio thought that he was weak. A meek person with the luck of catching their prince’s eye with his looks. He thought that he would crumble under his stern gaze but Yuuri didn’t. He never crumbled. He always walked with his head high but never failed to show everyone something from his warmness. He never put himself over the common folk like other nobles did. Even if the servants didn’t notice or appreciate it.

 

Yurio watched as Yuuri put his hands above his head and behind his back, almost looking like an angel with wings attached to his shoulders as he danced completely absorbed in his moves.

 

If he would be Victor he would have done the same. He would have done everything necessary to keep this person by his side, never letting him go. He would ignore his whole advisers and subjects in favor to keep him.

 

Who knows? If he would have found him first maybe h-

 

Yurio broke his train of thought. He couldn’t think like that.

 

He shuddered suddenly as he felt a breath beside his ear, “The way he skates is like his body is creating music, don’t you think so too?”

 

Yurio glared up at him, “Shut up, old man. Don’t sneak up at me or next time your pretty face will be nothing more but bruises.”

 

“Aww, you think that I have a pretty face?” Victor cooed and Yurio went back to ignoring him, continuing to watch Yuuri skate. He didn’t know how long Victor was already there but he didn’t have an interest to find that out.

 

With mesmerizing grace Yuuri brought his hands together above his head in the form of a triangle as he arched his spine backwards, looking blissfully up to the sky above him and signalizing the end of his performance. At this point, Yurio wouldn’t be surprised if Yuuri would grow wings for real and disappear altogether.

 

 _“Yuuuuri~”_ With too much u’s in the name, Victor called out to him, a heart shape smile gracing his features. He watched as the idiot ran right in the direction of the ice, Makkachin running right beside him.

 

Can that idiot even skate, Yurio wondered silently, but as soon as he saw Victor fall down right as he stepped on the ice he knew that he couldn’t. He watched as Yuuri looked shocked before speeding up to help him to stand on his feet again, inspecting him for any kind injuries.

 

Yurio hid his smile behind the crook of his arm as he saw Yuuri leading Victor on the ice just how he did with him mere minutes ago. Even Makkachin was doing better on the ice than its second owner.

 

It was fun seeing Victor flail about like a child and falling down again and again, making Yuuri run to his aid over and over. He never saw the future king, of one of the one most powerful kingdoms in the world, so relaxed.

 

After a while Yurio had the hunch that Victor fell down on purpose. Victor didn’t look like he was hurt. He looked like he enjoyed the attention.

 

He sighed, not able to look at the sight anymore and slowly stepped on the ice himself, navigating himself carefully towards Yuuri and shoving Victor right down the ice again.

 

Victor looked put out, looking up at Yurio with confusion, “What was that for?”

 

Yurio shrugged, “Revenge.”

 

“What? What did I do?”

 

Yurio wanted to say that he stole his first love but instead he just skated away, slowly circling around the frozen lake and ignoring the whining of Victor as Yuuri chuckled behind him and helped Victor up again.

 

Yurio never saw his cousin so happy and carefree since his parents died. It wasn’t his place to get between them. Petty or not, he needed that little revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the longest chapter I ever wrote. At least I got it done before school tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed it! Even if it was focused mainly on Yuuri and Yurio.
> 
>  
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxJhiYW5bQg)


	7. Stomach it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huuuge thanks to my lovely beta reader @undefined_sorrow. She is such a great help and was really fast at proofreading the chapter too!

Victor watched Yuuri’s flawless skin gleam in the moonlight as his finger ghosted over the boy’s belly, moving slowly up and down again. _God, he's so perfect._

 

He couldn’t resist the urge to hug him against his chest, holding the other close to his chest, “You’re _so_ beautiful.”

 

Yuuri chuckled, “Really? I think you’re more beautiful than me though.”

 

Both looked at the other, threading their fingers together in a playful manner as Yuuri used the opportunity to press a soft kiss against the prince’s lips. Victor snorted softly, the corner of his mouth slipping upwards into a smirk, “You want to go another round?”

 

Yuuri looked up at him, “What do you think?” he whispered, mischief sparkling in his eyes,

 

“I think,” Victor began as he moved to hover over Yuuri, “that I wouldn’t mind.”

 

Victor reached out for him, tipping his chin up and glided his thumb along the lower lip of Yuuri’s plush mouth before leaning down to bring their mouths together. Victor was kissing him now and Yuuri craved his kisses. He wanted to feel his heat against him so _badly_ and the next time Victor touched him, he arched into it. He let Victor roam his hands along his naked body, allowing the man to explore his soft skin. The kiss got less and less innocent, needy moans and grunts filling the room. Yuuri suppressed a shiver. _He wanted more_ and from the hard member that was pressing against his lower half, he knew that he wasn’t the only one.

 

However, Victor’s hot lips left his too soon. The prince had one hand on Yuuri’s thigh, his fingers idly massaging the sensitive skin and making the boy underneath him whimper. Victor panted above him, staring at him with half lidded eyes, “Always stay by my side Yuratchka.”

 

Yuuri needed some time to register the words, slowly coming out of the haze, “It sounds almost like a marriage proposal,” he teased, a challenging smile forming on his lips. Victor didn’t retort and Yuuri feared that he went too far.

 

“What if it is one?”

 

Victor looked at him; at Yuuri’s swollen red lips, his messy hair and flushed skin covered with bite marks and old hickeys down the length of his neck, disappearing beneath the covers. Yuuri’s skin glistened with sweat and he continued to gaze at him with his fluttering long eyelashes. He took the sight in, gathering the courage to ask.

 

Yuuri didn’t know what to say but it didn’t stop Victor from talking.

 

“I love you Yuuri,” he said, gently stroking his hair from his forehead, “Your lovely laugh, your infinite kindness, the way you say my name and just the way you are. I met a lot of people throughout my life but none of them mattered to me as much as you do.” Victor carefully reached out for Yuuri’s wrist and held his palm against his chest, letting the other feel his heartbeat and how nervous he actually was, “Yuratchka, will you become my bride?” he asked, his voice trembling at the end.

 

Yuuri still didn’t say anything and slowly but surely Victor got more anxious, "You don't have to say anything. It’s okay if you don’t want to. Just promise to stay by my side."

 

Yuuri opened his mouth but his tongue failed him. His wide chocolate brown eyes just stared, unable to look away from the blushing mess that was Victor Nikiforov.

 

Victor didn’t expect the avalanche that came in the form of one Yuuri Katsuki until he landed on his back, the boy embracing him like a lifeline, “Of course I will marry you!” he exclaimed like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I love you, Vitya. I love you so _, so_ much.” They cried and kissed. They even cried while they kissed. They were holding onto each other, unable to be apart for the night.

 

It was only when the sun was slowly peeking out that both of them went to sleep. Victor was out in a couple of seconds, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of the day.

 

Yuuri though, found himself unable to sleep, still feeling giddy from what happened. He watched Victor’s relaxed expression and smiled like the lovesick idiot he was. His eyes were puffy, his throat hoarse and every muscle in his body aching but he couldn’t bring himself to succumb to sleep yet. In the past there were a lot of patrons who visited _Stammi Vicino._ There were a lot of people who he needed to sleep with. Some were kind, some were not and some were utterly scum of the world.

 

Yuuri especially remembered a certain man among them. A quiet, gentle man with no remarkable attributes but Yuuri liked him. He always used to visit and sometimes brought sweets for him. He promised Yuuri to buy him one day, to free him from the brothel and to take care of him. It was the first time Yuuri dared to hope but at some point, the man stopped turning up and Yuuri felt left behind and hollow. There were a more men after that who promised to buy him and Yuuri learned fast that they were sweet nothings. Said in the heat of the moment and forgotten once dawn arrived. He started to believe that he would never be free again.

 

That was before he met Victor. The silver haired man stormed his way into his life and turned it upside down. Yuuri never thought that he would get to know love, let alone marry someone. Not with the way he used to earn money. Now Yuuri lay here, a drooling, dorky prince lying beside him and he knew that he would be happy. He couldn’t stop the tears that spilled without his consent for the nth time that day. Yuuri bit down on his lower lip to prevent himself from choking out and cuddled closer to his fiancé. They would be okay.

 

 _Everything would be okay now_ , Yuuri repeated his hope like a mantra and let sleep slowly take over his consciousness.

 

_They would be okay._

 

 

 

 

Victor sipped the wine in his goblet, refraining himself from draining it like water. He wanted to be sober for the main event after all. He leaned back in his throne, enjoying the gentle breeze that followed. It was a nice day. He couldn’t have asked for better weather for the flower festival. He watched as the common folk and the nobles mingled themselves together in the palace gardens, laughing and talking like status and titles weren’t separating them.

 

Victor thought that his kingdom urgently needed a joyous day such as the flower festival. Maybe it would help diffuse the tension between him and his subjects. He knew that since he presented Yuuri as his mistress, he wasn’t highly regarded. It didn’t bother him as much it should, but his folks were still his folks. He may not give Yuuri up for them but he knew that he could take care of both of them. He also wanted them to be as much relaxed as possible when the time came that he would announce his engagement with Yuuri. Mostly Yakov though. Victor hoped that the news wouldn’t steal the rest of the old man’s years.

 

Victor chuckled at the thought, kissing his left finger where a certain ring would find its place soon.

 

“Y-your MA JESTY!”

 

Victor flinched at the sudden shouting, almost spilling his drink. Thank god he didn’t. He didn’t want Yakov to be annoyed at him just yet. At least not before he told him about his fiancé. He valued his life after all.

 

Victor looked down, seeing a fidgeting small girl looking everywhere but at him.

 

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling, she was _adorable_. “Is there something I can help you with, little miss?” Victor asked with the sweetest voice possible.

 

“I-I,” She stuttered, digging the tip of her shoe into the grass, “I wanted to give y-you thi-s!”

 

She brought out a clumsily made flower crown behind her back, looking stubbornly to the side, “I already made one for the mistress. He said that it was beautiful. You w-would match!”

 

Victor bit his tongue to prevent himself from squealing at the cute sight of the child. He put his goblet to the side before he stood up and kneeled down on one knee, “He was right. It is beautiful. Would you do me the honour of placing it upon my head, little miss?”

 

Happiness was radiating from her small body at being praised and with a more confident posture she came closer as Victor lowered his head, putting it carefully on his silvery hair. 

 

Victor stood up, swooping her up in his arms, “Thank you!”

 

The girl giggled, hiding her face in the crook of his neck before she looked up at him again, “I like your braid, your majesty,” she exclaimed happily.

 

So much innocence. Victor hoped silently that she would never change, “And I like your pigtails. Did your mom tie them for you?”

 

The girl shook her head, “No. My father did!”

 

“Well, he must be a wonderful father then.”

 

The girl nodded furiously, starting to tell him various stories about his parents. It was nice to see the girl talking this animated. That was until another person interrupted them, “Oh dear, you need to learn that it’s rude to talk someone’s ear off. Didn’t your parents teach you some manners?”

 

Victor looked spiteful towards the direction where the voice came from, only to find a noble woman speaking to them.

 

The little girl suddenly struggled and Victor let the tiny girl back on the ground again, “Ex- excuse me,” she stumbled out, bowing once before disappearing into the crowd, vanishing before Victor could say something.

 

“It must be hard, my prince. You show so much kindness to the lower class by inviting them to the castle and all they do is to behave like this,” she came closer to Victor, putting her hand on his arm, “However, you don’t need to worry. I will stay by your side to prevent that something like this will happen again.”

 

She smiled flirty towards him before leaning over, letting her blond locks fall behind her back to present her cleavage to him. Her eyes gleamed with lust before she tiptoed to bring her red lips to his ear, “I get to finally meet the future king himself. To the behalf of the De Lastov family I want to express my gratitude. I wouldn’t mind if we would go to a more discrete place to learn more about each other, my prince.”

 

Victor needed all his self-restraint not to vomit out his breakfast. _How dare she-_

 

Victor bit his lower lip until he drew blood. His clenched fists trembled beside him.

 

Victor slowly breathed out and pushed her gently aside, a cold smile plastering his face, “I don’t think that I need company. Thank you very much. If you would excuse me now.”

 

Without awaiting a response he left, ignoring her calling out to him. He stopped in an empty corridor and took his time to calm down again.

 

It was then when he heard a familiar angelic laugh. Victor turned around to see Yuuri being dragged excitedly around by Phichit, the crown prince of the south. The prince came a month ago to talk about the problems of their borders and possible solutions. It was planned that he would go back as soon as an agreement was found but stayed even after that, taking a huge liking to his mistress.

 

Surprisingly, they hit off well. The cheerful prince and Yuuri acted like they were long separated friends, almost clinging to each other. Victor didn’t mind. He was glad that Yuuri found a person that he could trust beside him and Yurio. Even though he needed to swallow down his jealousy from time to time.

 

Victor could hear his fiancé giggle amusedly, “Phichit, don’t pull! I’m coming,” Yuuri complained but looking like he's enjoying himself to the fullest.

 

“You’re too slow, Yuuri!” Phichit retorted before breaking into a run, not letting go of Yuuri’s wrist.

 

Victor smiled, letting both of them go. He found himself already in a more relaxed state than before.

 

He slowly made his way back to the garden, “Maybe I can find Chris or Yurio somewhere,” he muttered to himself.

 

 

 

 

It was a couple of hours later, when the sun was starting to set that Victor summoned everyone together, announcing the main event of this day taking place. According to custom, they held a dance at the end of the day, thanking the gods for spring. This year was even more special to Victor. This time it would be Yuuri to dance the flower dance with everyone watching. While the boy had been a little bit reluctant, it took Victor only some pleading and some whining, to his embarrassment, before he gave up and agreed to it, earing endless amounts of grateful pecks. He wanted his whole kingdom to see how great his soon to be husband was.

 

Victor slowly let himself fall on the throne beside his cousin, a little bit wobbly on his feet from the alcohol. He held his goblet out to Chris and the man took it to drown the rest of its content in one gulp. Soon the music started and Victor chuckled at how eager Yurio looked. He's never seen the little boy so thrilled for anything. He must have really looked forward to the dance.

 

The soft tunes of the flutes, the jingling of the timbrel and the thundering sound of the bongo drums started out quietly and got more intense and louder with each passing second until it reached its peak. In the middle of the stage was Yuuri, moving his hips in sensual inviting movements. He didn’t move with the purpose to seduce but to enchant.  His feet were moving in time with the upbeat melody, stomping simultaneously with the thundering drums.

 

The thin fabric of his white gown flatteringly hugged his from and swayed with each movement he made. With each twist of his arms, he was proudly showing off the flowers which adorned his skin. The rhythm of his body stole everyone’s breath away, even Victor’s. The crowd started to cheer for the boy on the stage, clapping along as they watched him move as fluidly as water. Yuuri looked so happy up there, a coy smile never leaving his face.

 

Slowly the dance came to an end, cue for the cheers to get louder, applause blocking out every other sound. Victor stood up proudly grinning at a beaming Yuuri. He walked all the way up to the stage, slipping an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. Yuuri giggled, shoving his face gently away.

 

The applause rang in their ears, making them slightly dizzy as a young couple walked slowly up to them to offer them a bouquet. Victor nodded thankfully at them, slowly kneeling down to accept the colourful flowers.

 

Everything just happened so fast. Probably like most tragic moments do. In one moment you were on cloud nine and in the blink of an eye you fell down into the deepest pits of hell.

 

Victor didn’t see the dagger hidden between the flowers. Victor didn’t notice the man moving unnaturally quick. Victor wasn’t aware of the smile on the male's face suddenly slipping. But Yuuri did.

 

Before Victor knew what was happening, someone shoved him forcefully to the side. _It hurt so much._ He looked up in confusion, anger seeping in but it vanished as soon as he laid his eyes on the scene in front of him. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

 

He saw Yuuri down on his knees with a knife stuck in his stomach. He grimaced, his face in agony and blood was slowly dripping down from the wound.

 

“DOWN WITH THE KING WHO LET HIMSELF BE SEDUCED BY A WITCH!” The man shouted in anger, his roars causing everyone to flee from the scene, “DOWN WITH THE KING WHO LET THE DEVIL IN HIS BED!”

 

Victor felt himself tremble as he slowly crawled to Yuuri's side, grabbing him by his arms in a desperate manner.

 

The boy crumbled under Victor’s touch, sinking further in his arms.

 

“Y-Yuuri?” Victor called out to the boy in a whisper, tears streaming uncontrollably down his cheeks.

 

The boy panted heavy, brown eyes getting cloudier by the second.

 

Victor shook him in his arms, desperately hoping for a reaction, “Yuuri? H-hey say something!”

 

He felt a lump forming in his throat as Yuuri slowly closed his eye lids, “Please open your eyes. Please. Yuratchka.”

 

There was no response.

 

“ _Don’t do this to me. Don’t-“_ Victor voice broke, “ _Yuratchka, please wake up. Don’t leave me alone! Solnyshko!_ PLEASE!”

 

Victor flinched as Yuuri’s cheek felt cold to the touch.

 

He could perceive murmurs around him but he didn’t hear what they were saying. He could only feel the heavy motionless body in his arms.

 

His insides were clenched up, he felt numb despite the agony crashing against him like waves. He screamed. He screamed with all the pain he felt with tears falling down his face.

 

Victor held Yuuri’s head close to his chest in a protective manner, just like he did the night before. He turned around with clenched teeth seeing the man who stabbed Yuuri captured by his guards. He felt rage boiling in his veins like never before. _He was the one who hurt Yuuri_. Victor felt himself succumb to the fire that burned him up.

 

“Kill him,” he ordered.

 

The guards looked uncertainly at each other, the first time seeing their smiling king with so much hate in his eyes.

 

Victor raised is voice, “I SAID TO KILL HIM! BRING ME HIS HEAD ON A STAKE!” he shouted with all his might, gaze unwavering as he watched the guards slowly dragging the man away. He saw as Phichit ran over to them, shock clearly visible on his face as he broke down, trembling over the motionless boy with tears in his eyes.

 

Yurio and Chris tried to pull Victor and Phichit away from Yuuri’s body but he didn’t let go.

 

He could feel a sting on his cheek as Yurio slapped him, “GET AWAY FROM HIM! HE NEEDS A DOCTOR! NOW!” the small boy screamed, trying to pull him away, despair present in his voice as tears collected in the corner of his eyes.

 

Victor saw all of it but he didn’t register anything at all. He just pulled Yuuri closer to himself.

 

_Don’t go. Please._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.  
> Okay, maybe not. There are still four chapters to go! I hope you liked it this far. 
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmEK31ghdFM) (I bet no one even listens to the songs but I'm going to continue and put them here anyway just because.)
> 
> I really need to keep the next chapters shorter. They just keep getting longer and longer.


	8. Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for betaing this chapter undefined_sorrow! You're a really big help <33

Yuuri felt a comfortable darkness surrounding him. It was as if he was somewhere far away, letting himself drift on the warm water that took him everywhere but at the same time nowhere at all. Yuuri wondered silently, if this was how death felt like. He always thought that when he would die one day that it would be painful and feel slightly off, like being somewhere he didn’t belong to. Apparently he was wrong. It felt like coming home. Like this was the place he was always supposed to go to. It felt like an exhausting journey that had finally come to an end. He wouldn’t mind staying here forever but Yuuri knew that he couldn’t. He didn’t know the exact reason why he resisted to be swallowed by this place but every time he closed his eyes, he could see blurring pictures of blinding silver, a beautiful heart shaped smile and blue eyes that gazed so lovingly at him that his heart clenched. Yuuri could feel a spark behind his closed eyelids which was getting stronger with each passing second and he immediately tried to reach towards the light. He had a hunch that behind it, he would find the reason that made his breath hitch and his heart clench. The reason why he felt like he couldn’t let go just yet.

 

He noticed a growing pain in his abdomen region although it was hardly noticeable at first but it grew stronger as he got closer to the white brightness. However, Yuuri didn’t stop reaching towards it, even knowing full well that happiness would await him on the other side. He tried to reach for it until he could almost graze it with his fingertips and suddenly Yuuri was forced to cast his eyes open, jerking up from the bed as he panted heavily with sweat dripping down his forehead. Different noises, smells and colours were assaulting his senses as he let out a groan from the pain that came along with sudden movement. He started to panic, unable to remember where he was but then all at once, as if a trigger was pulled, his memories from the flower festival crushed down on him. Yuuri let himself fall back against his fluffy pillow, breath no longer ragged. For someone who almost got assassinated, Yuuri felt strangely calm. He found himself thinking that it was okay as long as Victor wasn’t hurt. He didn’t regret putting himself in danger if it meant he could save Victor.

 

The sound of rustling bed sheets interrupted his thoughts. Yuuri didn’t notice when he woke up but beside him, sitting asleep on a stool with his head against the side of Yuuri’s bed, was Victor. His position looked uncomfortable and Yuuri was sure that the other would complain about backache tomorrow. He couldn’t help himself but smile gently at the drooling prince, heart fluttering in his chest. Yuuri brushed Victor’s fringe back, threading his fingers through the long silver locks. He looked exhausted. The dark circles under his eyes were painfully visible and he looked like he aged some years while Yuuri was asleep.

 

_I couldn’t have been passed out for too long, right?_

 

There was a knock on the door before it was opened. Minami came in, carrying a tray full of food. When the younger boy saw that Yuuri was awake, he almost dropped the tray but he luckily caught it before it crashed down. The young servant’s expression changed from disbelief to shock, staring at Yuuri as he was a ghost. He looked ready to hug him to death as tears gathered in his eyes. With so much relief radiating from his small body, Minami started to tremble, “Yuuri! You finally-" Before he could finish his sentence he was already running out of the room, repeating excitedly that he needed to tell everyone.

 

It wasn’t long before Yakov came into his room, a tired expression on his face. He stepped closer to his bed and squeezed his shoulder which Yuuri figured was a way to express his comfort and convey his apology. Yuuri silently wondered if all Nikiforovs were this bad with feelings because it seemed like it wasn’t just Victor who failed to handle emotions from other people. Both of them stayed rooted in their place for a while, unable to come up with something to break the ice. It wasn’t as if Yakov and he were friends to begin with or got along very well. They barley even talked to each other except for small greetings and questions about the prince’s whereabouts. Yuuri felt as if he was mostly tolerated by him in the castle.

 

“How are you?” the older man slowly asked, easing the tension between them a little bit.

 

“It still hurts but I’ll manage,” Yuuri answered truthfully, “Thank you for your concern.”

 

“You were lucky that a doctor was attending the festival. If it wasn't for him you would be dead by now.”

 

Yuuri just smiled shakily. What was someone supposed to respond to that? Good to know? Thank you? That’s great?

 

“How long was I asleep?” he decided to ask instead.

 

Yakov sighed, seemingly not in the mood to remember the past few days, “For two weeks. Your condition was getting worse due to the poison on the dagger. The doctors were sure you would die. Victor was going crazy the whole time, you know?” Was he really unconscious for two weeks? He felt guilt nagging at him for doing this to Victor. He saved him, sure, but if Yuuri was in Victor’s position, he would have driven himself insane with the uncertainty of whether the other would ever wake again. Yakov crossed his arms, fidgeting and rolling back and forth on the heels of his feet. Yuuri noticed that he looked conflicted, gaze flickering between Victor and him.

 

“Victor told me that the two of you are engaged,” he said after a while.

 

“Did he now? We wanted to tell you the news at the festival together but…” he didn’t brother to elaborate since Yakov got the message.

 

“I wanted to wait until you fully recovered," the older man trailed off, “But I think that it needs to be said now. Do you really think that this decision is the best one for Victor?”

 

Yuuri furrowed his brows in question, “What do you mean?”

 

“Apart from where you came from, your low status in society and that you have no gold, lands or anything else...” he paused, looking conflicted for a second, "…you’re a male, Yuuri. You can’t give him a child.”

 

Somehow Yuuri felt his stomach twist and it wasn’t because of the injury.

 

Yakov saw hurt flash on his face but the older man didn’t stop, “Victor needs an heir to secure his power and to make sure that his right to the throne doesn’t get stolen from his relatives. This kingdom needs an heir and you’re not able to give him that. As long as Victor doesn’t have a child, he will be the target of many people. Do you really want that?”

 

_Did he want that? What kind of question was that even?_

 

Yuuri clenched his blanket, his whole body shaking. He could feel the burn of his wound reopening itself but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His heart felt too heavy.

 

“I’m sorry, Yuuri.”

 

_He didn’t need his pity. He didn’t even allow himself to feel pity for his predicament. He wasn’t weak._

 

“Please leave,” he finally chocked out, not willing to let the man see that he was on the brink of a break down.

 

Thankfully, Yakov disappeared without a single word, closing the door behind him with a soft thud.

 

_He wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t cry._

 

He repeated it like a mantra, body trembling with overwhelming sadness. The motions made Victor stir and Yuuri silently cursed himself. He wanted to greet him with a smile. Not with tears. Victor had already been worried enough for him. Before Yuuri had a chance to change his mind, he pressed his palm against his stomach, stifling a groan and distracting his body from his emotional state. At least the shaking ceased successfully.

 

Victor slowly woke up, sitting up in his chair as he blinked the sleep in his eyes away. When he registered that Yuuri was sitting in front of him, smiling and actually very alive, he tackled him down in his infamous bear hugs.

 

“You’re awake! You’re actu-“ Victor’s voice broke, the last words were left unsaid as loud sobs filled the room. Victor cried without shame, pressing himself as close as possible to Yuuri’s body. He buried his face against Yuuri’s neck and took in the comforting smell of his beloved. Big ugly tears rolled down the prince’s cheeks and he wailed like a child, not caring if anyone would see him, the future king, in this pathetic state. Yuuri swallowed down the pain from another body pressing against his wound, feeling sweat dripping down his back. Instead he closed his eyes and started to stroke Victor’s hair, whispering softly that everything was okay against his ear until he felt Victor’s body relaxing against his.

 

He tried to bury Yakov’s words deep down in his mind for the time being.

 

 

_____________________________

 

 

Yakov looked up from the papers on his table as he stretched himself. Finally everything went back to normal after Yuuri woke up a few days ago. The young eastern servant didn’t looked close to tears anymore, nobody paced around in front of the sick chamber and Victor was back to his cheery self, albeit a bit more clingy and watchful over his mistress. The only thing left to do is to let the horror of the festival become a thing of the past. As if on cue Yakov heard the chiming of bells from outside. It seemed that the time had come. He stood up and walked over to the open window, looking down at the commotion outside. It wasn’t common to let the folks watch someone getting beheaded in the northern kingdom. Yakov knew that it was Victor’s way to demonstrate to everyone what would happen to them if they decided to try and harm his mistress again.

 

He could see the prince sitting on the throne outside, watching the man who stabbed Yuuri with a cold and unyielding gaze. It was rare to see him without Yuuri these days. After the festival they were glued at each other’s hips more than ever and Yakov didn’t even think that was possible. The boy was nowhere around, he noticed. He must have decided to stay in their bedchamber. Maybe he was spending some time with the south prince or Yurio. Lately, one of them was always by his side.

 

Yakov watched as two guards lead the struggling man up to the podium, carrying the heavy shackles behind him. The guards forced his head down the on the wood and let the executioner step closer. It seemed that Victor didn’t allow the man any last words. Yakov could see the man starting to cry as the executioner placed his axe against the man’s nape. The reaction of the people outside was different depending on the person. Some looked at the ground completely horrified and others shouted excitedly to let the traitor die already.  All too soon the axe was swung, hitting the man with full force. It should have been over fast. If the job was done well, one hit was everything it took to chop off the head. However, in this case the man didn’t die. He screamed full of agony, struggling to get away as blood dripped down the ground into a puddle. It was gruesome.

 

Yakov looked over to where Victor was sitting, a cruel light glistening in the prince’s eyes as he watched the executioner swinging up his axe for a second attempt. A chilling smile crept up on Victor’s face before another scream reached Yakov’s ears. Something was wrong. It shouldn’t take that long to behead someone. They only needed to hit the nape once after all. Yakov silently hoped that Victor didn’t pay the executioner to let the man suffer before killing him for good. Another scream resounded and Yakov closed the window. He didn’t want to see this.

 

 

_____________________________

 

 

_You’re a male, Yuuri. You can’t give him a child._

 

He already knew that.

 

_This kingdom needs an heir and you’re not able to give him that._

 

Yakov was right.

 

_As long as Victor doesn’t have a child, he will be the target of many people._

 

Stop. _Please_. He already knew.

 

Yuuri bit down on his lower lip, torturing it between his teeth until he could taste blood on his tongue.

 

“What are you thinking about, love?” Victor inquired, as he caught the complex expression on the other’s face. Yuuri stiffened, looking down at the face on his lap. Victor’s skin glowed from the setting sun. He lifted a hand to run his fingers through the silver locks that were splayed against his thighs, untangling the knots gently in the process. 

 

Makkachin was leaning his head on top of Victor’s chest, sharing his warmth and cuddling with the couple. He was already so big. Time flew by fast. Yuuri felt as if it was only yesterday that he got to cradle tiny Makkachin in his arms for the first time.

 

“Nothing Vitya,” Yuuri tried to reassure him, “Don’t worry.”

 

Victor shoved the poodle gently form his chest before leaning up on his elbows to stare right into Yuuri’s big brown eyes, “But I do worry. I want to know if something is bothering you, Yuratchka.”

 

Of course he would, Yuuri smiled. Victor was always a big worrywart.

 

“My wound just hurts a little bit. That’s all,” he lied.

 

Victor started to panic, “I’ll get the doctor. Wait here,” he hastily said, ready to jump up from his position on the bed and run through the corridors, wearing nothing but trousers. However, before Victor could even stand up, Yuuri seized him by the wrist and dragged him down on his lap again.

 

“I’m fine,” he began, “Besides I’m sure that you lying beside me is better for my health than any doctor.”

 

Victor chuckled, reaching up for his cheeks, “I’m pretty sure that doesn’t apply to a fatal stomach wound.”

 

“It does,” he playfully told him, “To mine at least.”

 

Yuuri wanted to stay together like this just a little longer. The innocent caressing of skin and the joking jabs while lying together as a small three member family. He felt happy. He didn’t want to separate yet. It was when Victor removed his palm from Yuuri’s cheek in order to search for something in his pocket. He slowly got out a small satin pouch and held it out for Yuuri to take.

 

“What’s this?” he asked as he reached for it.

 

Victor blushed a little bit, “Find out yourself,” he dared him.

 

Yuuri tug on the opening of the pouch until it opened and let the content fall on his hand. There lying on his palm were two gold rings, sparking beautifully in the evening sun. Yuuri looked up at him then back at the rings, only for his gaze to find its way to Victor again. He was speechless.

 

“I got them after the incident. I wanted to make sure that you would stay by my side forever. You’re my fiancé after all,” Victor admitted a little bit bashfully. The prince reached out for one of the rings and ever so gently slid it down Yuuri’s left ring finger. Yuuri’s heart died a thousand deaths in that moment.

 

“It suits you,” Victor complimented him with adoration.

 

Yuuri took the other ring between his fingers before he did the same.

 

“We match now,” Victor whispered softly.

 

Yuuri just nodded. He didn’t trust his voice not to break. He gave Victor a loving kiss before he tugged him down on his lap again. He played with Victor’s hair as he hummed a song his mother always used to sing to him, lulling Victor slowly to sleep.

 

What would be worse? A life without Victor or a life where he would eventually be brutally killed?

 

Victor was strong. He was popular among the women in the castle and probably even outside of it. He would find a beautiful bride the kingdom would approve of and his life wouldn’t be in danger anymore. After a while they would get a little Victor running around in their garden, playing and trying to outrun Makkachin while giving a heart shaped smile to every subject of his soon to be realm with Yurio as his godfather. He would get Victor’s pretty sky blue eyes and his habit to make everything he says come out in a singsong manner. He would be loved by his father and mother and would give them happiness in return. Victor would watch his son grow up with an unending love and live happily together with his growing family.

 

Yuuri didn’t fit in that picture but that was okay. If Victor was happy then that was enough.

 

Yuuri knew the answer to his own question.

 

He continued to hum, even when his throat started to feel hoarse after a while. He didn’t want this moment to end.

 

 

_____________________________

 

 

Yakov sat in his bedchambers, looking at the financial situation of the kingdom and groaned. He hated to work on the money matters. Maybe they would need to raise the taxes next year.

 

He sighed and scrambled the papers together before standing up again, ready to go to bed and end his day. However, before he could blow out the gas lamp on his table, there was a soft knock resounding in his room. He went over to open his door only to find Yuuri standing in the corridor, wearing nothing but his night gown.

 

“Did something happen?” Yakov asked alarmed, ready to call for his guards any second.

 

Yuuri just shook his head, “I need to talk to you.”

 

Yakov let out a sigh of relief. They didn’t need a second assassination attempt. He opened the door wider, letting Yuuri come in and offered the boy to sit down which he gratefully did.

 

“I want to make sure of something,” Yuuri said without any explanation why he was here at such a late hour.

 

“The reason why the man attacked Victor,” he continued, “was it because of me?”

 

Taken by surprise, Yakov needed some time to respond but it seemed that Yuuri wasn’t in the mood to wait as he continued “Before I lost my consciousness I heard the man scream that Victor let the devil in his bed. Did he mean me? Did he attack Victor because of me?” Yuuri repeated his question, guilt and resolve visible in his puffy eyes. That boy cried, Yakov noticed silently. Unable to confirm Yuuri’s fears, he averted his eyes to the ground. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t heartless and after all the years spent together in the castle, he grew fond of the boy with his kind personality and sunny smile even if he didn’t act like it. He couldn’t. He needed to put Vitya and the crown first. But the silence seemed to be a good enough answer for the boy.

 

“How bad is it?”

 

Yakov mentally sighed. If he really wanted to know, he would tell him.

 

“There are some riots in the kingdom” he hesitantly began,” They don’t want a ruling king with a witch by his side.”

 

Yuuri looked shocked, eyes wide, “But I’m no-“

 

“I know,” Yakov sighed out, slumping his shoulders, “But some people believe that you bewitched him and that kind of rumour doesn’t just disappear.”

 

Yuuri looked at his hands. He looked so tired. So vulnerable. It was then that Yakov noticed a gold ring glinting in the barely lit room. It wasn’t there a few days ago.

 

“Can you prepare a carriage for me tomorrow night?” Yuuri asked barley above a whisper.

 

That got Yakov by surprise, “What?”

 

Yuuri didn’t look at him. His mind was probably occupied by someone else.  

 

“You’re right. I can’t give Victor a child, “he said with his palm pressed against him stomach, “And as long as I’m here, not only his relatives but also his subjects will try to kill him. I can’t stay here. Not when it means that Victor will be constantly in danger.”

 

The boy looked at him. He looked lost, pained even. But there he was, clinging to his decision with determination. Yakov slowly understood why Victor chose him. Yuuri never ceased to amaze him. He was a beautiful man with a too soft heart. After the rumours and insults started coming from the servants, he thought that the boy would collapse like a house of cards, begging to be brought back to his homeland or demand from Victor to fire everyone altogether.

 

Yet Yuuri didn’t utter a single word about it. He held his head high, walked with the presence of a queen and still gave everyone a heart-warming smile. And now Yuuri was here, ready to leave the safe walls of the castle with nowhere to go, only for Victor to be safe and sound. If Yuuri had been a girl, maybe Yakov would have come around. Maybe he could have then approved of Yuuri, turning a blind eye to his origin and even enjoyed his presence in their home. Maybe everything would look different. Maybe he would have wholeheartedly approved of their marriage. Maybe-

 

Yakov dismissed his thoughts. They didn’t help. Yuuri wasn’t woman. He never would be.

 

“What do you want to tell Victor?”

 

Yuuri stayed silent, biting on his lip.

 

Yakov raised his brows, “You want to go without telling him anything?”

 

“I’m afraid that if I face him that my resolve will crumble,” he admitted with an airy laugh.

 

For some reason Yakov felt awful. But he did the right thing, right? He needed to protect Vitya.

 

“He will want to know why you left,” he tried again.

  
“Tell him… that I couldn’t live with the danger of being his mistress anymore. That my feelings weren’t strong enough for-“ Yuuri pressed his lips together to stifle the whimper, “I don’t know! Just tell him _something_. Give him a reason not to search for me. Please. I’m not sure that I could turn my back towards him a second time.”

  
“You really love him,” Yakov realised.

  
A fond smile so bright it put the sun to shame appeared on Yuuri’s face, “How could I not?”

 

Yakov obliged albeit a bit reluctantly, guilt seeping into his heart, “Alright. I will prepare a carriage for tomorrow. Shall I inform someone of your departure?”

 

Yuuri shook his head, black soft strands swaying with the movement, “No need. I’m not one for goodbyes. They are always tear-jerking.”

 

“You sure?”

 

The boy may not have had many allies in this castle but he was aware that he had a few people which cared deeply about him.

 

“I’m sure,” he said and then stood up bowing formally in front of the king, “Thank you Yakov and I’m sorry for disturbing your sleep. I know that you aren’t fond of me, so thank you for hearing me out.”

 

See? He always managed to amaze him.

 

“I never disliked you” Yakov admitted in a soft whisper, “You were the reason Victor found his laugh again after all. I’m thankful.”

 

Yuuri looked up from his bow, straightening his back, “Sorry? Did you say something?”

 

“Nothing,” he lied, “It wouldn’t matter now anyway.”

 

Yuuri gave him a last smile and turned around to leave. The boy closed the door softly behind him.

 

“Thank you for protecting Vitya,” Yakov muttered to himself.

 

_He meant it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, at least Yuuri is not dead right? Haha..ha... I really upset myself while writing this chapter so I actually feel with you guys;;  
> At least we reached chapter eight now! I was never this motivated to write a story before and I'm kinda proud that the story didn't end up being abandoned by me like I all my other fics did. It's because your lovely comments make me really happy guys! I appreciate every single one of them! Ty you for the support.  
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npkj_3IdPVQ)


	9. Heal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, this chapter was proofread by my sweet beta reader undefined_sorrow! She worked really fast and that's also the reason it's up so early :3 I don't even wanna know how much she needs to correct in every single chapter OAO But anyway I really appreciate it!

“Do you have everything?” Yakov asked, opening the carriage door for the younger boy.

 

Yuuri nodded, feeling the heaviness of a goodbye weighing down on him, “I packed everything that I brought with me.”

 

“I was sure that you would have more luggage after all these years in the castle. Is that really everything?”

 

The question was understandable considering Yuuri spent a lot of time in the castle. The bedchamber that belonged to him and Victor was literally stuffed with clothes and mementos that found its way into the room after all these years. Victor always liked to surprise him with new things he found while he was away from court and Yuuri liked to keep every single one of his presents. They were gifts from Victor after all, bought especially for Yuuri where the prince thought hard about what would make him happy. He burrowed his face deeper into the fur of his coat, trying to escape the chill of the night, “I only took the clothes with me that I bought myself. I didn’t take anything Victor got me over the years. Well almost…”

 

Yuuri didn’t elaborate as he looked down at his ring finger, watching as the gold metal bathed in the faint light of the moon. He could feel his own heart screaming out to go back, run back into the warm and safe arms of Victor and cling to him with everything he got, begging to let him stay by his side. But his mind silenced the pleas. He knew that he needed to leave for Victor’s sake. He knew but it didn’t make leaving easier.

 

Yakov looked at him, furrowing his brows in worry, “Why? You could sell them on the market. I’m sure that you’ll need the money.”

 

Yuuri smiled patiently at the older man as if knew something the other wouldn’t ever understand, “Victor might have given me many presents but they are not mine to take. Combined they must have cost a fortune…” Yuuri hesitated for a moment, “…and I don’t want to take them with me only to sell them. They are full of memories. I don’t want to give them away for something like money and I’m not keen on watching them get stolen either.”

 

Yuuri looked up at the sky. The stars were beautiful that night, illuminating the path he would follow soon with a gentle barely there light. He didn’t have an exact plan of where to go or what he would do after he left the walls of the castle. After all, he had no home or job to return to and a part from his body, he had nothing to offer.

 

“I’m sorry it came to this,” he could hear the faint whisper of Yakov’s apology.

 

But Yuuri didn’t want to hear it.

 

“Don’t,” he warned with a dangerous tone in his voice, “You make it sound like all the time I spend here with Victor was a mistake,“ Yuuri brought his gold ring to his lips, pressing a chaste and gentle kiss against the metal, “But I’m glad that I got to meet Victor and was lucky enough to spend so much time with him. I’m happy that I was lucky enough to experience his love and got to love him in return. If the only way to save his life is to leave then I won’t regret this choice either. So don’t act like everything that happened was meaningless.” Yakov stayed silent. For a moment Yuuri thought there was something akin to regret and uncertainty passing through the old man’s features but it was gone before Yuuri could confirm it.

 

“What will you do with the ring?”

 

Yuuri shrugged, not wanting to think about it, “I’ll probably hold on to it until I’m ready to let go.”

 

In truth he wanted nothing more than to hold on to it and keep it close to his heart as a memento forever but it wouldn’t be fair towards Victor. Yuuri will be the one to leave and break the promise to stay close to him. So, just for a little while he will be selfish and hold on to it. Only a little bit longer.

 

A comfortable silence spread through the calm night. One where all things were said and done; it was time to leave. Yuuri signalled for the cabman to stow his luggage away and in a matter of seconds he was ready for his departure. He tried hard to blink the heavy tears away as he realised that he would never come back. That he would never see the smile of Victor again. Just a few hours ago he sat with Victor in front of the fireplace, cuddling and kissing and loving each other for the last time.

 

 

 

_“I love you, Yuuri,” Victor whispered into his ear so faint as if it was a secret no one else was supposed to hear._

 

_Yuuri looked up at him, his face illuminated by the light of the fire and Yuuri smiled. He smiled and took in the picture of his beloved one beside him who was smiling happily with content glimmering in his eyes._

 

_“I love you too,” he eventually croaked out as he reached for the prince’s cheek, bringing him down for the nth kiss that day._

 

_“You’re awfully affectional today,” Victor stated with a smirk, “Not that I’m complaining though.”_

 

_Yuuri laughed. If only Victor knew, he thought at that moment. The prince would try and persuade him to stay after all, convincing him that they would fight off everything that would get in their way and Yuuri would believe him. He wanted to be persuaded after all. He wanted to be convinced._

 

_“I’m so happy that I have you back,” Victor admitted taking Yuuri’s hand into his and kissing the ring on his finger with a flush on his cheeks, “Now that Yakov knows about us, what do you think about a marriage in the summer? The season might be short in this kingdom but it-_

 

_“Victor,” Yuuri interrupted, hands trembling with strong emotions._

 

_The prince looked at him with a pout, “If you don’t want to, I can compromise. You can choose a season you prefer. We can even wed in winter. The snow is pretty and it would match your clothes,“ Victor talked without a break, excitement leaking in his voice, “We could make Makkachin bring us our rings! Wouldn’t that be nice? Imagine our cute poodle waiting for us at the end of the aisle. We would need to figure out how he would carry the rings but wh- Oh my god, Yuuri? Are you alright? Does your wound hurt again?”_

_  
Yuuri shook his head, tears running down his cheeks, “No,” he answered with a crooked smile, “I’m just very happy. A wedding in the summer really sounds nice.”_

 

_Victor beamed up at him, wiping the tears of his fiancé with his hands, “Right?”_

 

 

Yakov stepped closer, hugging him firmly against his chest, “Take care of yourself,” he told him, “The world is a dangerous place.”

 

Yuuri nodded, locking the memories of the time he spent here deep into his heart, “I will. Thank you. Promise me to look after Vitya in return.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Yuuri turned around then, ready to step into the carriage before a familiar voice stopped him in his track.

 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

 

Yuuri’s heart stopped beating. Panic was crashing down on his body. He knew that voice but he didn’t dare to move. He heard paws hitting the ground as Makkachin barked once at him, running full speed to his side while waggling his tail with happiness to see his master.

 

Yuuri patted the poodle’s head before he turned around, staring with wide eyes at the silhouette in front of him, “What are you doing here Yurio?”

 

“What am I doing here?” the younger boy hissed, ”I found this fucking note beside my bed, saying thank you for everything!” Yurio screeched, voice getting louder as irritation rose in his small body, “What the hell? Do you plan to leave? You really planned on going and not saying a god damned thing to any of us?”

 

Yuuri took a step back, he could feel the anger coming off Yurio in waves and he didn’t want to get hit with the full force of it.

 

“Calm down!” Yakov tried to intervene but was waved aside, “Shut up, old man! Nobody asked for your fucking opinion!”

 

Yuuri sighed, tired from the commotion, “I need to leave Yurio.”

 

“What? Why?!”

 

“I know that you must be aware of the rumours about me,“ Yuuri spat out bitterly, “I can’t stay here any longer. You know that it will only cost Victor’s life  one day.” It seemed as if the lord wanted to speak against it, mouth opening with the conviction to prove him wrong but no further words were spoken. Only hot air left Yurio’s mouth as he closed it again.

 

Yurio looked to the side, brows furrowing in anger, “People are stupid. Magic doesn’t exist and witches don’t either.”

 

Yuuri smiled, silently thanking the younger one for getting angry in his stead. He stepped closer and hugged the younger male, leaning his cheek against the crown of Yurio’s head, “Promise me that you will take care of yourself and don’t listen to people who tell you that you need to change yourself. You’re fine the way you are even with your short temper and fierce tongue.”

 

Yurio nuzzled against him, taking in the calming scent as he reached around to grab the fabric of Yuuri’s coat into his fist, “Shut up,” he muttered against his chest, lacking the sharpness it usually carried.

 

Yuuri eventually let go and Yurio reached out for him only to jerk his own hand back when he realized what he was about to do. For the last time, he patted Makkachin and asked the dog to keep an eye on Victor to which the poodle barked loudly in return. Much too soon he stepped into the carriage, closing the door and waved farewell. Makkachin tried to follow his master, standing up on his hind legs and scratching the door of the carriage, begging to be let in.

 

“I can’t take you with me,” Yuuri explained with a pained expression, “I’m sorry.”

 

Makkachin barked, not understanding why his master looked so sad. Yurio couldn’t watch the whole ordeal anymore. He tug the dog on his collar, pressed it against Yakov until the man took the cue and held on to the dog so he wouldn’t try to run back to the vehicle. Then Yurio yanked the carriage door open and sat himself down across from Yuuri, “I’m coming with you,” he exclaimed with no room for objections.

 

Yuuri looked so shocked that Yurio had to hold back his laughter.

 

Yakov was equally confused, “What are you doing? Come out immediately!”

 

Yurio clicked his tongue, “God shut up already. I will only accompany him until he reached his destination and come back.”

 

“What?! NO! It’s dangerous!”

 

Yurio rolled his eyes, “I have a knife with me and I know that you will send some guards to follow us. Nothing will happen. I will be away only for a couple of hours.” The young lord didn’t wait for a response as he gestured for the cabman to set off. The man hesitated but when he saw the young lord’s nasty gaze, he took out his whip to get the horses moving. Before Yakov could protest more, their carriage vanished in to the darkness of the night and Yakov was left behind, holding on to a whining dog.

 

He sighed, “I’m too old for this.”

 

 

_____________________________

 

 

The following morning Victor woke up alone in bed. He blinked his eyes open, rubbing the sleep from his eyes away as he sat up, “Yuuri?” he tried once.

 

There was no response. Not even Makkachin was lying by his side anymore. Did he oversleep?

 

Victor stretched his arms over his head before swinging his legs over the bed, walking to the study room which was separated from their bedchamber by a door. He turned the doorknob in hope to see his beloved one there, “Yuuri?” he tried again as he stepped into the room but there was no one inside. Usually Yuuri would be there if Victor couldn’t find him immediately, sitting on a mountain of pillows with a book tucked open in his lap. Yuuri loved to read and Victor loved to watch him while he did. He always furrowed his brows subconsciously in concentration when he was absorbed in a story and Victor found it unbearably cute.

 

The prince stepped back into the bedchamber and threw over some clothes to leave the room. A pair of guards started to follow him but Victor dismissed them, making his way to the dining room alone.

 

“Yakov, did you see Yuuri?” he began as he saw his uncle at the table sipping at his morning tea, “I figured he was having breakfast but-“

 

“Victor,” Yakov interrupted, but Victor was too busy sensing the older man’s discomfort as he searched for his fiancé.

  
“Oh, I know! I bet Phitchit kidnapped him again. He really needs to stop stealing my quality time with my fiancé.”

  
“Victor.”

  
“I know. I know. I mean I like the south prince but he really needs to-“

 

“VICTOR!”

 

Victor blinked confused, “What?”

 

“He left,” Yakov said as he sipped from his teacup.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Yuuri left last night.”

 

Victor gave his uncle a weird look, not completely comprehending what he said, “Yakov you don’t even make sense. What do you mean _he left_?”

 

Victor wasn’t stupid. He understood the words the older man said but he couldn’t comprehend them. Yuuri left. Okay. He knew that already. The question was where was he? The garden? The library? The kitchen? Yakov needed to explain more if he wanted Victor to understand him. Basically he was back to square one.

 

“Maybe he's keeping Yurio company? Should I-“

 

The king sighed, “He heard the man from the festival screaming the accusations when he was stabbed…" Yakov trailed off, “Yuuri said that he didn’t want to cause you harm by staying by your side. I lent him a carriage to leave last night.”

 

Victor stared, mouth feeling dry, “Maybe he's helping Minami with the cooking? I know that he adores the little guy. I will just-“

 

“Victor,” he repeated his name a tad gentler now and Victor froze at the tone. Yakov wasn’t a bad person, sure, but to maintain his authority among his subjects he always used to speak harshly towards others. The last time he saw his uncle so worn out and spoke to him like he might fall apart any second was when his parents died years ago.

 

“You’re joking, right?” Victor whispered, eyes wide, “Yuuri wouldn’t! We promised to stay togeth-“ his voice broke, words left hanging in the room.

 

He wouldn’t right? Yuuri was his one and only. The person most precious to him. He was his future and Victor was his. That’s what they promised each other. That’s why they wore the rings. Yuuri wouldn’t leave him. Not after all they went through. Not after the many _I love yous_ they whispered to each other like it was their second nature. He looked at Yuuri in his memories and saw a confident young man, looking at him with kind brown eyes which were so big and warm that Victor couldn’t help himself but get lost while looking at them. He saw his lovely smile gracing his features, the deep flush after they decide to lock themselves up in their bedchamber and he heard the adoration when Yuuri spoke Victor’s name.

 

But then something in the back of his mind started a spark. A small light was coming to life and it grew  until the memories of the night before came to him, carrying the unbearable weight of doubt.

 

 

 

_“Can I ask you something?” Yuuri whispered into his shoulder after his tears were dry._

 

_Victor caressed the younger man’s back, nudging him with a hum to go on._

 

_“If… If I were to disappear one day, would you be okay?”_

 

_He stopped his movements and Yuuri seemed to go stiff in his arms, head still buried against Victor._

 

_“Why would you ask that?” he curiously asked, giving him his undivided attention._

 

_Yuuri shrugged, “It’s just a what-if situation.”_

 

_  
He knew that his fiancé tried to let the question sound as nonchalant as possible but the tremble in his voice betrayed him. Victor wanted to pester him why he would ask such a thing but he figured that Yuuri grew more anxious after the festival._

 

_“I wouldn’t survive a whole day,” he eventually admitted, “Whenever I see my future, I see you. I see you, me and Makkachin. We all sit outside in the garden, bathing in the warm sun while cuddling on a comfy blanket. I see us holding hands and guessing what kind of shape the clouds are. After some time Yurio would join us. He would call us lovesick fools like he always does and sit down with us on the blanket. He would try to prove us wrong while declaring that all the clouds are cat shaped. Eventually Chris and Minami would see us, bring something from the kitchen for everyone to drink and join our small circle of a family. I picture us laughing and more and more friends surround us while we never let go from each other’s hands. That’s the future I believe in,” Victor concluded with a shy smile._

 

_There was a long while where no words were exchanged and Victor thought that maybe Yuuri was satisfied with the answer but then Yuuri asked another question, “But could you try for me? Could you try and become happy when I disappear one day for some reason? I don’t want you to be sad.”_

 

_Victor wanted to protest. He didn’t want happiness if it he couldn’t share it with Yuuri but the younger man looked up at him with desperation in his eyes, pleading silently at him to say yes and Victor was always bad at denying him something. So he lied, said yes to reassure him and Yuuri grew less tense in his arms as relief took over his slender body. It seemed as if a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulders and Victor guessed that he said the right thing._

 

 

Victor stood there, not moving a muscle as if it would help to make the whole situation better. His thoughts raced in his head, trying to outrace each other and before he could say another word of denial, he ran back to his room. Victor threw open the wardrobe and saw that a part of Yuuri’s clothes were gone. A great number of his stuff was still left but Victor realized soon that there were originally the presents he got for the younger male. As if the realization drained his strength, he wobbled and fell down on his knees. His throat felt dry.

 

He could have prevented Yuuri from leaving. He could have eased his worries. They could have fought off everything that would come their way. Victor was strong. He wouldn’t let either of them get hurt a second time. If only Victor listened more closely. If only he had pestered the other about the odd behaviour that night. It was his fault. He shouldn’t have drank that much at the festival. If he didn’t he would have noticed the dagger in the bouquet. Yuuri wouldn’t have gotten hurt. He wouldn’t have left.

 

Victor felt a conflict of emotions, taking away all the happiness he once felt. It was like a black mass was forming inside of Victor. An ugly black mass that was slowly turning into a monster and devoured his heart, leaving nothing but a numb feeling inside his chest behind. He could feel a hand touching his shoulders but he didn’t have any strength left to turn around. _Because Yuuri left._

 

“At least you don’t need to worry about his safety,” Yakov told him with a low voice, “I sent some guards with him and Yurio is accompanying him until he reaches his destination.”

 

Ah, Victor realized. It was his uncle’s hand.

 

“It is for the best,” he told him, “Think of the kingdom. It needs an heir.”

 

He listened to the man and suddenly it _clicked_.

 

“I thought he left because of my safety?” Victor asked, slowly turning his head to look the man directly in the eyes.

 

Yakov paled, “He did.”

 

“Then why,” Victor began as he slowly stood up, a dangerous light flashing in his passive eyes, “did you mention an heir?”

 

Yakov’s hand slipped from his shoulder and the tension grew with the pressuring silence.

 

“You were the reason he left…” Victor realized.

 

“He needed to know,” Yakov started to say, “Yuuri already knew that he was just like a sling around your neck. He knew that he was the reason for the assassinated attempt! It’s true that I said that you need to secure your power with a child but it was his own decision to go!”

 

Victor grabbed Yakov’s collar and pressed him against the nearest wall, “It’s your fault he left!“ Victor screamed with rage, “You were the reason Yuuri doubted us!”

 

“I only told him the truth,” the older man spoke, unfazed by the aggressive treatment, “It was his decision to leave.”

 

Victor saw red.

 

He clenched his teeth as he raised his fist. He wanted to slap him, to punch him and do worse things. This man was the reason for the mess Victor was in now. How could he have dared to whisper these words of doubt to Yuuri? Victor was ready to strike out but suddenly found his hand held tightly behind his back before he was yanked back.

 

“Chris?!”

 

“I’m sorry, Victor.” Chris apologized, his grip never ceasing, “I can’t let you make this mistake.”

 

Victor struggled, “Let go!”

 

_He was angry. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to see Yuuri._

 

“Guards!” He called out and in the blink of an eye, the room was filled with people, “I want all of you to go and track the carriage that left the castle last night,” he ordered, ignoring all the looks of confusion at seeing their prince being pinned down on the ground, “Do everything necessary to find it! Bring the person in the carriage safely back to the palace.”

 

“No. That won’t be necessary,” Yakov stepped in.

 

Victor threw a nasty glare at everyone in the room, filled with nothing but a promise of destruction if anybody dared to defy him, “I’m the prince of the Northern Kingdom!”

 

“And I am the king!” the older man yelled, “No one will leave this castle!”

 

The men looked uncertainly at each other before they decided to stay put.

 

“Don’t you dare to do this Yakov!”

 

Yakov ignored him as he went to leave, “Guard the door to this room and don’t let the prince outside.” The older man turned around for a last glance, “You will understand one day.”

 

Victor looked stubbornly down at the floor, seething from rage, “You’re a stranger to me now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter! I really want to thank those who read this fic until this point. We still have a couple of chapters ahead of us but we're nearing us the end! :3 I actually wanted to write more for this chapter, but I needed to cut it in half because it would have gotten to long. Still, I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> (Thanks for the lovely comments guys! They make me really happy ;A;)
> 
>  
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVxdY4rWIlQ)


	10. Through The Eyes Of A Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hugs to undefined_sorrow who proofread this chapter! I hope all of you'll enjoy it.

Yurio rested his chin on his palm as he watched Yuuri looking outside the carriage’s window. The other male looked lost in his thoughts as he had a faraway look in his eyes, glazed over. Yurio could already guess where his mind wandered off to. The sun hung high in the sky meaning that Victor should be up by now, completely awake and searching for someone he wouldn’t ever find.

 

“So,” he began, breaking Yuuri’s train of thoughts and directing his attention successfully on himself, “What’s your plan?”

 

Yuuri didn’t answer immediately. He casted his gaze down, “What do you mean?” he eventually croaked out as if trying to avoid the question. But _hell no_. Yurio wouldn’t let him get away with the act.

 

“Don’t even try to play dumb,” he hissed, venom leaking into his voice, “What? Do you plan to sell yourself and spread your legs for strangers again?” Yuuri flinched, looking like a deer caught in headlights and Yurio _hated_ it. He hated to see the once so confident male looking so lost.

 

“I’m going to stay at my friend’s place,” he said weakly, “He owns a tavern and I’ll work there until I find another job.”

 

He raised an eyebrow, “You have a friend?” Yurio repeated in a mocking tone, “In the northern Kingdom? Bullshit.”

 

“Why? I mean I also have you.”

 

Yurio felt annoyance bubble inside himself as he crossed his arms “And where did you meet this _‘friend’_ of yours?”

 

The older male opened his mouth only to close it again, looking helplessly back down at his lap.

 

“Yeah,” Yurio muttered, “Thought so.”

 

“I have a friend who lives here close by,” he repeated again, voice louder than before, “I’m going to stay with him and work in his tavern.”

 

“Who are you trying to convince right now? Me or you?” Yurio spat back.

 

The man in front of him trembled as his facade began to crumble. Maybe he should try and be more kind and understanding but Yurio was anything but. He needed to make clear that this idea of his was ridiculous. Yuuri had nowhere to go and was hated by most of the people in this kingdom. Yurio experienced it personally and the world wasn’t a kind place. It was cruel and a place where only the strong ones survived. Sure, Yuuri possessed a strength which he envied him for. He always looked straight ahead, not letting himself be pushed off the path by others but Yuuri was also this trembling person in front of him. Sometimes he showed such raw emotions that Yurio feared the other male’s glass heart would be broken by others if he were to leave.

 

Yuuri pressed his palm against his mouth and nose, taking deep breaths to calm himself down before he looked up at him again. “I have a friend who lives here close by,” he repeated more confidently.

 

Yurio fumed with anger, “I ALREADY-“

 

Yuuri shook his head and cut him off, “I’m going to stay with him and work in his tavern,” he emphasized with purpose, “That’s all of you’ll need to know and what you’ll need to believe.” Before Yurio could protest, Yuuri leaned out of the window and called for the cabman to stop. Yurio watched in shock as they halted somewhere in nowhere. There were no houses nor people. Only a green scenery and a single pathway that only went in one direction.

 

“Victor can’t know where I‘ll go,” the raven haired male explained as he saw the expression on the young lord’s face, “I don’t know what he will do if you knew.”

 

Yurio hastily grabbed his wrist, “Come with me,” he pleaded, looking straight at him with desperation in his eyes, “If we set off now, we’ll be in my hometown by tomorrow morning. I won’t tell Victor. I promise. So, please,“ he spoke faintly, clenching his hand tighter around the other, “Come with me.” Yuuri seemed speechless for a second before he gave him a look of adoration. He smiled; a real smile. One filled with kindness and brighter than ever. Yurio smiled back, loosening his grip, “Come on. Sit down. We need to ride back now if we want to make it to the city in a day.”

 

The older male didn’t and the blond only grew more agitated in response.

 

“Sit. Down,” Yurio bit out through clenched teeth.

 

_Why, he wondered silently. Why won’t you just sit down?_

 

He only registered faintly as Yuuri leaned over. He felt the sudden warm press of lips against his cheek as he was engulfed in a hug. Yurio felt heat rush to his head as his mind went black. The softness of the other’s lips left him too soon and he unconsciously reached out to graze the tingling sensation with his fingertips as if he needed to process what just happened.

 

“Thank you, Yurio,“ he whispered into his ear, “I’m thankful that you worry about me but I can’t come with you.”

 

Yurio stared helplessly at him with wide eyes, “W-why?”

 

Yuuri reached for his luggage as he stepped out of the carriage, closing the door with a soft thud, “Victor would eventually find me if I did.”

 

Yurio needed some time to understand the words, still holding his cheeks in a dazed state with his thoughts spinning over in his head. He broke out of it as soon as he felt the carriage move again. He screamed for the cabman to stop but the cabman didn’t listen and so Yurio was forced to watch Yuuri vanishing further into the distance.

 

_____________________________

 

They arrived back at the castle only a couple of hours later and Yurio stormed off as soon as they halted, tackling down the cabman on the way to his room. He didn’t want to see anyone and dove under the covers of his bed in the hope to be left alone.

 

_____________________________

 

The next days he locked himself in his room. Screaming at every servant who entered his room to bring him food or dared to even look at him. He wanted to be left alone.

 

____________________________

 

After a week he finally stepped out of his bedchamber, hating himself for wallowing in self-pity while the nagging feeling of loss was still looming over him. He figured there was one person who was even more pathetic than him. He stopped in front of Victor’s room, surprised to see guards in front of his chamber. They tried to stop him from entering but retreated as they saw the anger flashing in Yurio’s eyes.

 

 _Cowards_ , he silently thought.

 

He didn’t bother to knock as he opened the door and steeped inside the room. Instantly he was greeted with a sour smell and he scrunched his nose in disgust. It was pitch-black as heavy curtains were drawn together. Yurio stepped closer to the bed, careful not to walk on shards, books and various items which were carelessly thrown around the room. It looked as if Victor had an outburst.

 

“Who's there?” he heard the prince ask, accompanied with the rustling of sheets.

 

Yurio stopped in front of Victor as he watched the prince lying face down on a single soft pillow as the others were carelessly thrown on the ground. Yurio guessed that the pillow belonged to Yuuri once.

 

“When was the last time you showered? You _reek_.”

 

Victor slowly turned his head around to face him, “Yurio…” he muttered, aloof as if he didn’t really acknowledge his presence.

 

He rolled his eyes, “Come on. Stand up,” he ordered as he flung the blanket over, “You look pathetic.”

 

Victor gave protesting sounds from himself as he burrowed his face against the pillow once again.

 

“Leave,” Victor told through muffled words.

 

Yurio ignored him as he tried to heave the other up or at least to tug him down on the floor. Victor wasn’t cooperative and apparently he weighed a ton. Frustrated Yurio gave up, “Fine. Stay in your miserable state for all I care,” he hissed.

 

Victor didn’t answer and Yurio gave up. He turned around to leave until he remembered something.

 

“The southern prince left a couple of days ago. Yakov said to tell you.”

 

Silence.

 

Yurio groaned. Of course, what did he expect?

 

He went over to the door when he heard Victor suddenly call his name.

 

“Yakov…” the prince trailed off as if remembering something, “You were with him,” he spoke to himself and before Yurio knew what was going on, Victor stood up and grabbed him by his shoulders until he winced.

 

“Yakov said that you accompanied Yuuri,” Victor looked at him with desperation in his eyes, “You know where he is.”

 

Yurio slapped his hands away, “No, I don’t,” he answered irritated at the rough treatment.

 

Viktor didn’t look convinced, “Of course you do,” he said frowning, “You were with him!”

 

“No. I. Don’t,” Yurio growled back, underlining every word with anger.

 

He reached for the door again but was suddenly shoved and pinned against the wall roughly. He let out a groan as pain crept up his back. There would definitely be a bruise tomorrow, he thought irritatedly.

 

“What the hell, Victor!? What’s wrong with you?!” he shouted.

 

“Tell me where he is,” Victor shouted, leaning over, “or I might do something that neither of us will like.”

 

Yurio could feel his blood boiling. _What the hell!? Who gave him the right to do what he wants?! He was a spoiled brat who couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t even protect Yuuri. His crown was useless. It was just useless trash of metal. Just like his throne. Just like his title._

 

Yurio used his free leg to kick him hard in the stomach and Victor sank down on his knees as he wheezed. He needed to leave before he would do something he would regret. He knew that Victor must be desperate. He couldn’t really blame him. But he wasn’t the only one who lost someone important to him.

 

“Sometimes we can’t do anything but let go,” Yurio reluctantly admitted through clenched teeth, slamming the door behind him as he left.

 

_Sometimes we can’t do anything but let go._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, remember all the fluff in the beginning? I miss it :(  
> And sorry for the late update. I was really busy and didn't have time to work on the fic. But the good news are that I already started to work on the other and that I'm almost done with it :3 It'll be the longest chapter I have written yet. According to my plan there are three chapters left so soon it will end~
> 
>  
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK6jRNl83tY)


	11. Long Long Way P.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gotta throw all my love at my beat reader undefined_sorrow who proofread this chapter <3 (I still can't get over it how fast she worked through the chapter lol I always work at a turtle pace so I'm amazed xD)

**_Six months later_ **

Victor looked at himself in the mirror and frowned. He remembered the lost feeling of Yuuri’s hand playing with his hair, patting him gently and nuzzling his face against his head with all the adoration he could muster. Victor felt his stomach churning, desperate to stop the longing in his chest.

 

_“Do you like my hair so much?” Victor asked, lying comfortable on his belly as he enjoyed the ghosting touch of the boy’s fingers working through his hair. Victor peeked behind him, seeing the younger boy sticking his tongue out in concentration as he threaded his hair into a braid._

 

_“You still have to ask after all this time Vitya?”_

 

_The prince chuckled, “Okay, maybe your demand to brush my hair every day is an indication that you might like it.”_

 

_Yuuri looked up, puffing his cheeks out as he pouted, “Don’t ask if you know already.”_

 

_Victor giggled and threw himself at his lover, drowning him in small pecks._

 

_“No! Victor- I wasn’t done!”_

_  
Victor stopped the attack and grinned happily down at him. He grinned so much that his cheeks started to hurt, “Seems like you need to start from the beginning.”_

 

_Yuuri furrowed his brows, “You did that on purpose,” he accused, deadpan._

 

_“I just love it when you touch me.”_

 

_Yuuri blushed deeply and hit the prince’s shoulder playfully when the other started to laugh, “Stop bullying me already!”_

 

_“Don’t wanna!” Victor exclaimed crushing the boy in a bear hug and ignoring the death noises Yuuri made beneath him, “It’s too much fun!”_

 

With a quick movement, Victor opened the wooden commode and reached for the metal scissors in one of the drawers. Without giving himself the time to change his mind, he grabbed his hair and with one swift movement Victor cut them. It was all it took for him to stand in a pool of his own silver strands of hair.

 

Victor breathed heavy as if he just ran thousands of miles. He felt better but only for a second. Much too soon his feelings came crushing down on him as if they never even left. With shaking hands he brought the scissors back up and started to cut and cut and cut, watching as locks of his hair fell into the marble sink and covered the white porcelain. Victor only stopped when his hair looked short and decent enough. He laid the tool down on the wooden surface and looked at himself in the mirror again.

 

He felt better. Somehow he did. Victor only prayed that it would last.

 

_____________________________

 

 

**_One year later_ **

“Victor have you thought about a future wife already?” Yakov asked causally over breakfast one morning.

 

Victor stopped eating, giving him a look as if he just slapped him across the face.

 

His uncle put his spoon down, looking seriously in his direction, “Have you learned nothing? You need to start thinking about it. Your coronation isn’t that far away anymore.”

 

Victor didn’t respond. He felt sick hearing the same things from his uncle over and over again like a broken record.

 

“You know there is this woman who showed interest in you,” he pushed the topic, sipping calmly at his tea, “She is from a noble family and would be a great match for you. I think you would like her. She is a beauty and comes from the De Lastov family…”

 

The prince didn’t listen, tuning his uncle’s words out as best as he could. He didn’t want to hear it. Victor only kept nodding, pushing at the food on his plate around with his fork.

 

_____________________________

 

**_One year and two months later_ **

“I’m happy to finally get to meet you, my prince,” the woman in front of him said with a wide smile, “I heard a lot about you from the king.” Victor regarded her, furrowing his brows in disgust when he saw the too tight dress she wore as if she was some kind of product waiting to be bought.

 

“I’m Natasha De Lastov,” she purred as she leaned on the table, presenting her décolletage as she put her hand on top of his, “I’m honoured that King Yakov arranged this meeting.” Victor didn’t move away from the touch. He just watched her with a cold expression on his face. She was familiar to him. The way she acted, her golden hair falling over her shoulder and her soft voice started a spark something deep of his mind. Then Victor suddenly remembered.

 

“We met already, didn’t we?” he asked, slowly slipping his hand away from the table and away from her reach.

 

Her green eyes widened before a predatory smile plastered her face, “I’m pleasantly surprised that you remember, my prince,” she disclosed before she suddenly stood up and walked around the table to sit beside him, “We did meet before. It was a year ago at the flower festival.” The memories of her came rushing back to him, mixed with the picture of Yuuri lying motionless on the ground in a pool of blood. Victor clenched his fists, nails cutting deep into his pals until droplets of his own blood leaked. Victor remembered the woman. She was the one who spoke derogatory to the little common girl who gave him a flower crown.

  
  
Natasha scooted closer to him until they shoulders and thighs touched, “I’m sorry how it ende-“

 

“Don’t!” Victor raised his voice to interrupt her, slamming down his palm on the table and making her flinch, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“I’m sorry,” She apologised quickly, smile never fading her face, “What do you want to talk about then, my prince?” Natasha questioned in return with a sugary sweet dripping voice, sliding her hand down Victor’s thigh.

 

Victor just shrugged and continued to listen impassively as Natasha talked as if he wasn’t even part of this conversation. He didn’t say much. He never did at arranged marriage meetings. He just nodded now and then and ignored as she leaned even closer to him, looking out of the glass window as if searching for something desperately in the distance.

 

_____________________________

 

“Natasha said that the meeting between you went well.” Yakov praised him, nodding in satisfaction, “I heard that you were a real gentlemen. I knew you would like her and with her fortune she is a good choice.”

 

 _God_ , how Victor wanted to deny it but after all he went through, he didn’t really had the strength to talk back. He just felt tired. Victor had enough time to come clean with the fact that he would marry out of money not out of love. So he did and so he would.

 

“I know how hard it must be after everything that happened with Yuuri-“

 

Victor felt anger rising up in his chest after hearing his uncle saying Yuuri’s name. A fury so big and too malicious to stop it from bursting out from him.

 

“Don’t you dare to speak about him!” Victor hissed, glaring at his uncle with so much hatred he could muster, “Don’t you even dare to say his name.”  
Yakov reeled back at the venom in his voice and took a cautious step back, “Vitya, you need to get over it!”

 

Victor sneered and turned around to walk away. He ignored his uncle who shouted after him that he arranged another meeting with Natasha. Victor just needed to get away and find a place to breathe again. Just a couple of seconds to control the ugly monster inside him  again and to lock it far away in his chest to put it back to sleep, together with his other feelings. Victor didn’t need them. He didn’t _want_ them.

 

_____________________________

 

**_Two years later_**

“Who the fuck is that?” Yurio asked mockingly, locking at the blond women who was clinging to the northern prince with hostility in his eyes.

 

Victor freed his arm from her grasp, “Yurio this is my fiancé Natasha. Natasha this is my cousin Yurio,” he explained calmly, ignoring the shock on the younger one’s face.

 

Natasha regarded him with a frown, “He is…” she trailed off, “…cute I guess?”

 

Yurio clenched his teeth, “Shut up old hag! Don’t talk to me with your ugly face!”

 

She gasped, “Victor did you just hear that?”

 

Victor sighed, rubbing his temples, “Yurio, you can’t talk like that to my fiancé.”

  
  
“Oh, yeah?” The small lord growled, “Try me.”

 

“Is he always this disrespectful?” Natasha butted in, contorting her face in disgust.

 

“Oh, can you just shut up?! A whiny mutt like you should go back to where it belongs to,” Yurio lashed out, gritting his teeth in anger. How could Victor not see that this woman would be bad for him?  She was nothing more than a damn gold-digger, salivating at the sight of money. Yurio turned to his cousin, pointing an accusing finger at him “Victor you can’t be serious! I know that you lost Katsuki but seriously? Choosing this filthy dog instead of-“

 

“SHUT UP!”

 

Yurio and Natasha halted their movement, going still as a heavy silence spread, “I won’t brother to ask for you to get along but at least try not to rip each other’s throat off.”

  
Natasha pressed her body closer to Victor, using a whiney voice as she spoke, “But Victo-“

  
“It wasn’t a request, Natasha,” Victor growled, voice cold as he turned around and walked away. He heard footsteps following behind him as his fiancé returned to his side, lips pressed together and steps louder than necessary.

 

_____________________________

 

**_Two years and six months later_ **

His father always told him that every man is the artisan of his own fortune. The previous king began his day with that thought in mind and ended his day thinking it. That was also the reason why Victor stood in front of his fiancé’s bedroom with a flower bouquet in his hands. He especially chose blue roses from his own garden, to show her that he was serious about his proposal. Blue roses were his own symbol after all.

 

Victor knocked at her door and went inside, seeing Natasha in front of a mirror, brushing her hair with a comb. Before she could ask anything, Victor brought the bouquet out from behind his back and presented his gift to her. “Let’s try, Natasha,” he began, voice coming out weaker than he had intended, “I know that I was dismissive when we first met but I want to give us a chance. It will probably take a lot of time for me but until then can you promise to stay patient?” Victor knelt down in front of the woman, taking one of her hands into his, “Can you wait for me?”

 

Victor waited, hands getting clammy and before he could worry anymore, Natasha grabbed the bouquet and examined the blue petals curiously.

 

“I know how scary it must be to suddenly become the fiancé of a soon-to-be king but I want you to know that you can always talk to me if you worry about something, alright?” Victor reassured her, mustering a weak smile in her direction. Victor meant every word he said. It would take a long time for him to come around but Victor would try and give his future wife the love she deserved.

 

Natasha laid the flowers down on her dresser with a smile, “I can talk to you about anything I want?” she inquired, tilting her head cutely.

 

“Of course,” Victor confirmed, gently squeezing her hand to encourage her, “anything.”

 

Natasha slipped her hand out of Victor’s hold and sat down on her bed, smiling at him, “Why did your former mistress get more presents than me?”

 

Victor’s brain short-circuited, struggling to comprehend her words, “What?“

 

“Don’t get me wrong the flowers are lovely but they are by no means clothes or jewels. Don’t you think that a future queen deserves more than that?”

 

Victor hoped that this was just a joke he didn’t get but Natasha looked completely serious, her smile never fading as she sat with her legs crossed on her king-sized bed.

 

“The servants talk, you know? They say that you’re still not over that little whor-“ she cleared her throat, “Over your former mistress,” she corrected, letting her hair fall behind her back as she let her eyes flutter closed for a moment. Victor stared at her speechlessly. He didn’t know how to answer. Maybe his father was wrong, he thought bitterly, swallowing the harsh words that threatened to spill out. Victor just stood up from his position, grabbed the bouquet and left the room without uttering a single word.

 

_____________________________

 

**_Three years later_ **

It was summer, a couple of months before the prince’s wedding. The sun hung high in the sky, the scent of sweet flowers lingering in the air and different kinds of birds soaring with open wings through the sky, lifting everyone’s spirit with their happy chirping. Outside the atmosphere was happy, pleasant and ecstatic, completely different from the one inside the castle. Every servant who was lucky enough to work outside, returned reluctantly to their work in the palace.

 

Some would think that the approaching wedding of the country’s prince was a joyous celebration but instead of a festive mood, the atmosphere inside the thick walls of the castle was gloomy. Like a blanket, it laid over the residents, covering everything with its bleak feelings.

 

And the cause for it was the young cousin of the prince.

 

“Why are you leaving?” Victor asked, words barley above a whisper.

  
Yurio pressed his lips together, looking over the prince’s shoulder at the castle, “I just don’t feel welcome here anymore.”

  
“Is it because of Natasha? I know that you two have your problems with each other and I talked with her about her mocking behaviour towards you.”

 

The young lord just shrugged, turning around and stepping into the carriage. “She isn’t a queen, Victor. You know that. I know that. Everyone who has half a brain knows that. Don’t make this mistake.”  
Victor bit his lip, his body trembling, “At this point I’m not sure what is right and what is not.”

 

Yurio looked at him, pity flashing in his eyes and Victor looked down. He couldn’t _stand_ the look. “I don’t want to see that women sucking out the rest of your happiness,” Yurio admitted, leaning back in his seat, “Dasvidaniya, Vitya.”

 

Victor didn’t meet the younger lord’s eyes, looking stubbornly down at his feet. He lifted his hand for a small wave before he heard the neigh of the horses, accompanied by the sound of a leaving carriage. Victor stood there with slumped shoulders, his hand pressed to his chest.

  
  
_Ah_ , he thought to himself _, I wish that Yurio would have taken me with him._

 

_____________________________

 

**_Three years and four months later_ **

“Yakov, don’t make me do this.”

 

“You are a king, Vitya. You need to do it for your kingdom.”

 

Victor turned around, the heavy wedding garments hanging loosely on his limber frame. Yakov gave him a critical once-over before huffing satisfied and pushing him gently into the direction of the aisle.

 

“A king needs to do what is the best for his subjects.”

 

“But what about me?” Victor asked silently.

 

There was no answer.

 

_____________________________

 

**_Four years later_ **

“Anything new?” Victor asked as one of his guards approached him.

 

“I’m sorry sir,” the man reported, shaking grimly his head as he kneeled down, “The whereabouts of Yuuri Katsuki are still unknown.”

 

Victor clenched his cup tighter, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes taking over his face, making the man in front of him shiver, “How can it be that after all this time you still have nothing?”

 

The guard lowered his head, slight shaking as he responded, “It’s more than four years ago that he disappeared, my prince. It’s impossible to find him without a single clue where he went.”

 

“Then make it possible!” Victor screamed, throwing the porcelain at the wall behind the man and missing him only slightly, “I. _Want_. Results.”

 

The man nodded, bringing out a shaky _yes, sir_ and stood up to leave the bedchamber of his prince. When the doors closed, Victor screamed, smashing everything and throwing everything to the ground what he could grab.

 

His chest heaved with ragged breath as he stood in the middle of his own devastated room, “I’ll find you. Yuuri,” he promised to himself, bringing the gold ring to his lips, “I’ll find you no matter what it takes,”

 

_____________________________

****

**_Four years and nine months later_ **

Victor knew that the day would have eventually come, he was prepared for this day since he learned how to walk but _knowing_ about it didn’t make things easier. He tugged at the collar of his shirt, feeling suddenly suffocated. The full-length crimson velvet coat hung heavy from his body and thanks to the ermine cape he felt unbearable hot as sweat dripped down his back.  Victor felt the urge to run away but instead he looked at his wife who was standing right beside him. He noticed the impatient bob of her feet as a greedy light sparked in her eyes. Victor turned away.

 

Much too soon the sound of trumpets resounded and he took it as a cue to step forward. The whole throne room was filled with people. Every noble who had the time was here for this special event and watched as Victor walked down the corridor with his wife by his side. The room was filled with _ahs_ and _ohs_ as they took in their royal appearance and Natasha seemed to flourish with all the attention. The people watched with big eyes every of their steps until both of them stopped in front of the Archbishop, an old man who embarked on a long  journey to be here on this day.

 

_The day of his coronation._

 

Victor knelt down in front of the older man, his coat pooled at his sides. Silence spread around the room as the Archbishop took his hand to slip the family ring down his finger, adorned with the sigil of the Northern Kingdom. When Victor felt the cold metal secure around his finger, he let his arm slip safely back again. He slightly bowed his head as the older man placed the crown, made out of pure gold, slowly onto his head. For such a light crown, it sure carried a heavy burden, Victor thought silently.

 

Much too soon it was time for Victor to stand up. He walked over to his throne to sit down, looking at the cheery expressions of the crowd and he wished that he could share their excitement. Victor always looked forward to this day when he was younger but now, sitting on the throne and watching all the people smiling up at him, made him feel sick. He felt anger boiling in his veins as he watched his subjects with a cold gaze.

 

 _Yuuri_ , his heart screamed out with every beat in his chest.

 

_Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri._

 

He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths as the memory of a smiling boy flashed in his mind. A shy boy, smiling gently up at him, flushing while reaching out to cup his cheek. For a second it seemed as if Victor could feel the tingling sensation of Yuuri’s fleeting touch. He tried cover the boy’s hand with his own but instead of the soft and warm hand, his finger only grazed his own skin.

 

_How can a king reign over a country and the people if he hated them with his whole being?_

 

Victor opened his eyes only to spot Yurio with his usual angry expression in the crowd and somehow he didn't feel as heavy anymore, knowing that his cousin came here to see him on this day.

 

He accepted the large Imperial Sceptre from the Archbishop before looking back at his cousin again, searching for comfort in his presence.

 

"God save the King!" the crowd cheered three times and the heavy realization sunk in that he was now the monarch of the kingdom. He would manage though. He was Viktor Nikiforov after all.

 

Soon his wife bowed down and accepted her crown before she sat down beside Victor on her own throne.

 

"God Save the Queen!" The people exclaimed.

 

Victor could see Yakov standing by the door, smiling proudly at both of them and Victor clenched his teeth, grabbing forceful the armrest of his throne.

 

_____________________________

****

**_Five years and three months later_ **

“Victor, we need to talk,” Yakov said one morning at the breakfast table. Victor put the fork down as he looked up at his uncle.

 

“What?” he asked, a bitter tone leaking in his voice.

 

“Don’t you think that it’s enough already?”

 

Victor knew what he meant without him elaborating it but he didn’t grace him with an answer. Instead he resumed eating his omelette.

 

“Victor!” Yakov shouted, “Stop it. It’s almost five years now. Stop throwing a tantrum and giving me the cold treatment! You’re an adult!”

 

Victor slammed his fist on the table, making the tea of his uncle swap over, “I will never forgive you, Yakov,” he growled, “Don’t test my patience. I’m only tolerating you on the court because it was father’s will to keep you here.”

 

He bared his teeth at the man, “If it was me, I would have thrown you out a long time ago.”

 

Victor ignored the shocked look of his uncle as he stepped up to leave, “I’m done with my breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out to be so much longer than I intended to. I needed to cut it off in the middle so it wouldn't be too much! I'm going to post the second part tomorrow :3
> 
> And I know that I promised to post this sooner but then life happened and well... yeah... now were here... exactly almost a month later but hey I got it done!
> 
> Btw I would really love to know which kind of ending you guys would prefer for this story. A happy end? A sad one? A bad one? 
> 
> Now that the chapter is here I can finally go to sleep ;A; It's already Thursday and I slept less than three hours this whole week lol It's don't recommend to do that. It sucks.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5yRKJ-gU48)


	12. Long Long Way P.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like the most of my chapters this one was betaed by undefined_sorrow! I hope you'll enjoy the second part~

**_Five years and seven months later_ **

“It’s a healthy boy!” the doctor came out running of their bedchamber to notify the king and all the people who waited outside.

 

The man looked up excitedly at Victor, “The kingdom has an heir, Your Majesty.”

 

The people surrounding him let out a thankful sigh as their moved their hands in relief to make the sign of the cross. He felt Yakov clasp him on his shoulder, “Good job, Vitya. You must be a proud father now,” he exclaimed grinning.

 

Victor slapped the man’s hand away, giving him a cold stare as he went inside the room. He immediately heard the cry of a baby and Victor followed the noise only to stop in front of the crib. The boy seemed to notice his arrival as he opened his eyes to look up at him. Beautiful green eyes stared up at him. They were much clearer than Natasha’s and almost on the verge of turning blue just like his. He cradled the boy up in his arms as he tried to calm him down.

 

“Hush, there is no need to cry,” he tried to comfort this little human being in his arms as best as he could but everyone who knew Victor also knew that he sucked at the whole comforting thing. “There, there. I’m here now,” he whispered as he swayed the boy gently in his arms, “Your father will take care of you.” The crying slowly started to cease and Victor rubbed the little one’s small tummy, “Your father is here now.” The boy started to giggle as he grabbed his finger, looking happily at him. Victor felt himself melting as a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. The first smile after years and it was all thanks to this little creature in his arms. Now it was Victor who wanted to cry.

 

“It’s not good to make your father cry you now?” he scolded him softly with an unsure smile

 

He slowly walked over to the bed where Natasha was lying, body drenched in sweat.  
“Do you want to hold him?” he carefully asked, never taking his eyes away from the smiling boy. Natasha shook her head, “I need to rest,” she waved him aside, “He already did enough to my body.” Victor pressed his lips together as he narrowed his eyes on her. She was the one who gave birth. He wouldn’t lash out on her. “What do you want to name him?”  
Natasha looked up at him, clicking her tongue, “Victor, I really need to rest. You can choose a name for him if you want.”

 

Victor ignored his annoyance for the sake to walk away, “Let’s take you to bed,” he spoke softly to the boy and went away to the former study room which was turned into a child’s room soon after they found out about the pregnancy. Natasha was strict against the idea, saying that she would need the sleep and not a child keeping her awake but Victor said that he would take care of their baby if she wasn’t willing to do it at night. That seemed to change her mind about the room pretty quickly.

 

“What name would suit you the best?” he sing-songed as he paced around the room. The boy giggled in his arms, trying to reach out for his face. Well, he didn’t really await a response. Victor rolled a couple of names around on his tongue but not a single one was good enough. Victor sighed, “Why is it so difficult? It’s just a name,” he pouted.

 

The boy let out a gurgle sound as saliva dripped down his chin. Victor wiped it away carefully with the hem of his shirt and suddenly he got it. _The perfect name._

 

“Lev!” he shouted excited, “Are you a Lev?”

 

The boy smiled and made some noises. Victor took it as approval.

 

“You’re my little Lev,” he whispered as he kissed his forehead, “Strong and brave as a lion.”

 

Victor didn’t let go of his son for hours, even when the little boy fell asleep in his arms. He wanted to stay close to him just for a little while more.

 

_____________________________

 

**_Six years and five months later_ **

Sayo, the little daughter of one of the many servants, walked through the corridors of the big castle, running after her mother until they reached the garden. The little girl took the sight in with awe as she watched everything with wide eyes and an open mouth. It was the most beautiful place she ever saw. There were flowers everywhere, flowers of different kinds and a paved way stretched itself through the green scenery, surrounded with big old trees. She loved the garden immediately which looked as if it was a place plucked out right from fairy tale. 

 

Sayo was a big girl though and the garden was not the reason she was here. No matter how beautiful it might be. She helped her mother to spread the bedsheets out on the ground, preparing themselves to hang them all up to let them dry in the warm sun. And it was then that Sayo asked herself why a king would need so many bed sheets. As she worked diligently alongside her mother, who praised her every time she helped to reduce the workload, the little girl suddenly saw a man in the garden. A man with short silver locks and a crown upon his head as he stood underneath an old oak, hiding from the summer day in the shadows.

 

“Mum?” She called out, wonder clearly written across the little girl’s face, “Mum, That man—“

 

Before she could finish her sentence her mother tugged her gently down to sit on the mountain of the white clothes, already aware where her gaze strayed off to. She pressed her forefinger against her daughter’s lips, “We don’t ask or talk about our king,” she declared with emphasis.

 

“Why?” the little girl asked as she tilted her head in genuine curiosity.

 

Her gaze strayed one more time to the person with the crimson full-length coat and to her surprise their gazes locked as icy blue eyes watched her without any emotions in them. Sayo shyly waved at the man, smiling with flushed cheeks as she tried to hide away her anxiousness. The man just curtly bowed at her before turning around, leaving as his expression stayed as indifferent as it was in the beginning.

 

“That’s our king, sweetie. You were very lucky to have caught a brief glimpse of him,” her mother told her truthfully as she patted her head. 

 

“Our majesty didn’t even smile at me,” she stated dejectedly, tears welling up in her eyes, “Does he already hate me?”

 

Her mother just shook her head, “No, Sayo. He doesn’t. He just doesn’t smile like he used to do.”

 

“Why?”

 

Her mother sighed, letting herself fall into the pile of washed sheets, “I don’t know. Many say that it was because he lost a person who was dear to him,” she turned around to cup her daughters face, “I don’t know but whatever it is let us pray for the king’s happiness.”

 

Sayo just nodded, wishing for their lonely king to find his smile again.

 

_____________________________

 

**_Nine years later_ **

“Papa! Papa!” Lev called excitedly, “Look what grandpa Yakov taught me to do.”

 

Victor looked up from his paper work as he took in the sight of his son grinning up at him while holding a flower crown in his hands, “Isn’t it pretty?”  
The corner of Victor’s mouth slowly rose to a small private smile, “Very.”

 

Lev ran to his father and made him bow to tug away the crown and replace it with the flowers instead.  
“Does it suit me?” Victor asked, feeling hesitantly the petals of the flowers on his head.  
“Very much!”

 

Suddenly the small boy frowned, “I made one for Natasha too but I can’t find her.”  
“Didn’t I tell you to call her mama?”  
Lev pouted, pursing his lips, “You did but every time I do she gets angry. She says that it makes her sound old,” he explained.  
“Alright,” Victor said as he stood up to heave his son up, “Let’s look for her together.”  
Lev gave a bright grin, nodding eagerly, “Let’s!”

 

They spend the rest of the evening trying to find Natasha. The castle was big after all and she was apparently good at hiding herself. “Do you want to give her the flower crown that badly?” Victor ended up asking after two hours of unsuccessful searching. His son nodded. “Why? We can give it to her tomorrow.”  
“But Natasha is angry at me,” he started to sound close to tears, “I accidently destroyed one of her dresses by making it dirty with mud and she…” he cut off mid-sentence as tears started to flow down his cheeks.

 

Victor hummed nonchalantly but inside he was slowly feeling dread brewing in his stomach, “Rybka, did she do something to you after that?”  
Lev bit his lips, unsure of what to say, “She told me not to tell anyone. She made me promise. I don’t break promises, Papa.”  
“That’s really honourable of you but don’t you think that you can make an exception? I’m your father after all.”  
Lev looked away, seeming to think very hard about his decision, “Okay, but only because you’re my Papa and you need to promise not to tell!”  
Victor flashed a smile, one which didn’t reach his eyes, “Of course. I promise.”

 

That seemed to be enough encouragement for Lev to tell him the truth about what happened afterwards and as his son talked, Victor needed every bit of self-control to not let his anger take over him. “She slapped you?” Victor repeated. Lev seemed a bit nervous at the cold tone but nodded.

 

“Was this the first time?”  
His son looked to the ground. He looked uncertain to open his mouth again but for Victor the silence was a good enough answer. He hugged his son tighter against his chest, “Let’s look for Natasha in her room again, shall we?”

 

Without waiting for an answer, Victor practically ran to their bedchamber. There were usually guards positioned in front of their door but for some reason there weren’t any today. Victor opened the door and as he stepped inside he froze. He could hear lewd moans resound loudly, mixing with the groans of two males.

 

Victor pressed his palms against his son’s ears, whispering closely to the boy to go and tell the first guards he finds that he called for them and that Lev couldn’t enter this room for today. Lev seemed confused but nodded and ran outside.

 

At least he knew why the guards weren’t at their posts, he thought coldly. Victor walked through the small corridor until he stepped closer to the bed. There he saw Natasha, enjoying herself while spreading her legs for two young men. She moaned loudly as the men penetrated her from behind, their amour on the floor. Funnily enough, Victor didn’t even feel anything at the sight of his wife betraying him in their bed. Victor clenched his fist and slammed it against the wall. Suddenly everything went silent as they turned their heads to look at the king. Natasha went white as a ghost and the two guards stilled, eyes wide.

 

“I-I thought that y-you needed to w-work,” she stammered, pulling the blanket on the bed over her body. Victor flashed a cold smile that sent shivers down their spines, “Work? What has my work got to do with you fucking some other guys?”  
“That’s not what it looks like!” Natasha hastily tried to explain, trying to hide more of herself with the blanket.    
“Oh? Is that so? I find it hard to believe, dear.”  
The guards quickly stood up, grabbing for their armour, “Y-Your Majesty! W-We will go.”  
Victor blocked their way with his arm, “No, You won’t,” he replied with the sweetest voice possible, eyes filled with disgust.

 

Soon five other guards ran into his room, “Your Majesty? You called for u-“ they went silent as they saw what was happening. “Yes,” Victor nodded, not bothering to look at them, “Hang them.”

 

Nobody moved at the order, shocked and unsure if the king really wanted to let his own wife be executed.  
“E-Excuse me?” one of the men bravely asked.  
“Hang the three of them,” Victor repeated, “I want to see every one of them dead by tomorrow morning.”  
Natasha was the first to move as she jumped up from the bed, sprinting up to Victor, “You can’t!” she shouted, “Victor! Lev needs me! I’m his mother!”  
“A mother wouldn’t hit her own son,” he whispered with a dangerous edge in his voice, grabbing her chin forcefully between his two fingers, “I won’t let another person hurt someone dear to me. Not again.”

  
  
The guards moved then, pinning every one of them to the ground as they twisted their hands behind their backs. They kept their struggling under control as the five men heaved them up to their legs again, trying to lead them away.

 

Natasha screamed and kicked until she freed herself, running up to Victor and slapping him across the face, “You hypocrite! You only slept with me until I was pregnant and after that you didn’t even touch me! Every time we had sex you called the name of that fucking whore of yours!”

 

One of his men grabbed Natasha behind her back, heaving her up and tugging her out of the room for good.

 

Victor could hear Natasha scream his name even after she was led away. Suddenly he felt very tired. Was that what his kingdom had wished him? Was that the future they always had in mind for him? He felt too numb to cry. He just wanted to sleep but he couldn’t even lie down on his own bed anymore. He just wanted to see Yuuri again. To hold the boy in his arms and to hear the lovely hum of the lullaby Yuuri’s mother used to sing for him. Victor just wanted to hear Yuuri’s voice calling him by his name.

 

_____________________________

 

**_Nine years and one month later_ **

“Yuuri!” Victor shouted as he ran after him, laughing and giggling just like the boy in front of him did.

 

“You’re slow! Are you getting old?” Yuuri shouted back as he took a turn to the right, running into the maze, “Victor you’re never going to catch me with your turtle pace!”

 

Victor dramatically feigned to be hurt, muttering loudly how cruel Yuuri was and for a moment the boy hesitated, turning around to see if it was just an act or if he really hurt his beloved one. The king used the moment to lunge himself at him and tackled them both down on the grass.

 

“You’re horrible,” Yuuri giggled, gently punching his chest “I trusted you!”

 

Victor used the opportunity to look him in the eyes, in his beautiful cinnamon coloured vast eyes. The boy was so breathtakingly beautiful and his heart fluttered inside his chest, ready to escape and fly towards the boy and Victor would let it. He always would.

 

“Horrible and yours,” he grinned and enjoyed the melodic laugh which Yuuri escaped.

 

 _God he was so perfect_ , Victor silently thought. He leaned down to kiss the boy softly on his plush lips, enjoying the tingling sensation he felt. He broke off much too soon for his liking but he wanted to look at Yuuri. Look at how beautiful this perfect human in his arms was.

 

Soon Yuuri fluttered his eyes open and curiously stared up at him through his long lashes, “Is something wrong, Vitya?” For some reason he missed to hear the sound of his own name coming from Yuuri but he didn’t know why. He heard it every day, didn’t he?

 

He suddenly felt like crying but he didn’t know why. His heart hurt _so, so_ much. Maybe it was really trying to jump out of his chest. He could feel it screaming, trying desperately to reach for Yuuri. “I’m the luckiest man alive, getting to have you by my side,” Victor croaked out, nuzzling against the boy’s chest, “ _Don’t leave me, Yuratchka_ ” he muttered though muffled words, “ _Please, don’t leave me._ ”  
He could feel how Yuuri started to stroke his hair in a comforting manner, “I would never do that, Vitya,” he reassured him, kissing the crown of his head.

 

Victor’s body shook with tears which were spilling down his eyes. He hugged the boy closer against his body, never wanting to let him go again. His vision turned blurry as the touches of Yuuri became more distant. He felt his vision going black as he tried to hold on to the boy who slowly but surely slipped through his arms.

 

“PAPA!”

 

He was suddenly awake.

 

“Papa you’re crying!” Lev cried out beside him, shaking him awake as he formed the words with difficulty.

 

Victor touched his cheeks only to find that there were wet, “I’m sorry, rybka. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said as he reached out to hug his son against his chest.

 

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed, tears still falling down his cheeks, “I’m sorry.”

 

He hugged Lev tighter, “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 

The small boy hugged him back.

 

_____________________________

****

**_Ten years and eleven months later_ **

“Your Majesty, the time has come.”

 

Victor nodded in understanding and dismissed the servant with a curt hand movement.

 

“Papa? Is something wrong?” Lev asked, tilting his head in curiosity.

 

Victor looked down at his son, eyes filled with grief, “Do you remember what I told you about uncle Yakov?” he began as he squatted down to pat his head.

 

Lev nodded, “You said that he was ill and that we can’t see him until he recovers.”

 

“That’s right, rybka. But it seems that grandpa Yakov wants to see us now.”

 

Lev’s green eyes shone brightly, “Is he finally feeling better again?”

 

Victor heaved his son up in his arms, kissing the crown of his head, “Sadly, he isn’t.”

 

Lev nuzzled his head against his father’s collar and Victor carried him until they reached the older man’s bedchamber.

 

The guards bowed at their arrival and opened the door for them, letting them step into the quiet room. The curtains were drawn together, darkness taking over the room and casting a heavy atmosphere. Victor could hear the faint sound of heavy breathing as he stepped closer to the bed. Yakov laid motionless under the white blanket, eyes closed. His breath was ragged and he seemed so much older than he was.

 

“Grandpa?” Lev quietly called out to him, freeing himself from his father’s grip in favour to kneel down beside his beloved family member.

 

The older man’s eyelids fluttered slowly open before a strained smile appeared on his face. The older man reached with a trembling hand for his nephew, cupping his smiling face, “You’re here,” he muttered faintly.

 

Lev nodded, not understanding why his grandpa looked so tired. He slept a lot, right? After his naps he would usually always bounce around, filled with new energy.

 

“Are you still ill, grandpa? I can come back later when you feel better.”

 

“No,” Yakov shook his head, “Stay here. Please.”

 

Lev gladly followed his grandpa’s plea and dove under the blanket, nuzzling against the older man’s chest but Yakov immediately started to cough at the action.

 

Lev started to panic, apologising numerous of times but before he could move away again, the wrinkly hand of his grandpa started to rub his back in a soothing way and Lev relaxed happily, staying put where he was. Victor stood there, face expressionless as he looked at the old man. The room was filled with silence only disturbed with the heavy breathing and coughing of his uncle.

 

“I’m sorry for taking Yuuri away from you,” he suddenly started, weakly turning his head to look directly at Victor, “I thought that I did the right thing but watching you all these years I know that I didn’t. I thought only about the kingdom and never about you.” Victor closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. “God, your father would be furious with me. I wish that I could turn the time back and decide differently…” he trailed off, gathering strength for the next words, “…but sadly it’s not something a human being can do. I prayed for the gods to do it in my stead but my pleas went unheeded. I-I’m sorry, Vitya.” Victor stared at the man in front of him before kneeling slowly down beside his bed and taking a hold of his cold hand, “I forgive you,” he whispered as a he could feel a lump forming in his throat, “I forgive you, uncle” he repeated as he squeezed his hand tighter. Yakov gave him a shaky smile, “Thank you,” he croaked out, “That means a lot to me.” They stayed in the position for a long time, neither of them moving.

 

“I’m tired,” the older man suddenly admitted and Victor rubbed his knuckles in a comforting manner. “I know,” Victor smiled sadly, “It’s okay, Yakov. You did enough. You can get your well-deserved sleep now.” Yakov smiled warmly at him. He looked back at the ceiling before he closed his eyes one more time, “Thank you, Vitya. For forgiving me.” The room grew silent as the ragged breathing stopped. His hand went limp in Victor’s clutch but Victor didn’t let go. His body started to tremble as big tears rolled down his cheeks, “Goodnight, uncle,” he whispered.

 

“Papa?” Lev started to speak, terror in his voice, “Grandpa’s chest doesn’t move anymore!”    
“I know, rybka,” Lev tried to shake his grandpa awake and grew more desperate as he didn’t even stir, “I think something is wrong, Papa,” He looked at his father with tears in his big eyes. Victor let go of Yakov’s hand. He tried to heave his son up but the little boy refused, not wanting to let go of his grandpa. “H-He is dead, zaichik,” Victor finally explained, trying to unsuccessfully wipe away the falling tears, “He is in a better place now.”  
“But… he is right here.”

  
Victor let out a broken laugh, “His body may be but his soul isn’t anymore. Your grandpa will sleep and not wake up anymore.”  
Lev finally loosened the grip on Yakov and Victor hugged the little boy against himself. “I don’t understand,” the boy mumbled and Victor rubbed his back just like Yakov did mere minutes ago. “Don’t worry. One day you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo. I reached 500 kudos and I'm super happy about it! At the beginning I didn't even think I would get close to 100. It's a huge achievement for me. I want to thank everyone who still reads this story and writes comments! They are my motivation to write :3 
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> Okay, I have other good news~ (well, more or less) After this chapter I'm going to slowly return to the fluff! Haha...ha...h *gross sobbing'* I just really upset myself while writing this. I NEED the fluff. After asking last chapter what kind of ending you guys are wishing for it seems that most of you wanted a happy one and so a happy end it will be. I had both scenarios kinda planned out so both would have been fine with me. Maybe I'll write the sad end as an alternative end? Like the official one would be the happy one but the sad one would be just an extra. Is that something you're interested in???
> 
> Oh and before I forget to mention it I wrote a little extra scene for this fic. I just posted it five minutes ago on my side blog because it didn't fit to the story anymore and I thought I would let you know. It's smut though. I never wrote smut before and I sucked sooo much at it lmao. But hey, it was kinda fun¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. 
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> Here is the link -->https://mimiiika.tumblr.com/post/157958237642/drape-me-in-your-warmth-following
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> Oh and Jenny if you're reading this.... don’t even think about clicking on the link xD It's my first time writing smut. I'm not letting you read it xD
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> Btw can someone call Yaku? I think one of his volleyball sons got lost :/
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> [Chapter's title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5yRKJ-gU48)

**Author's Note:**

> I really appreciate feedback!


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